Student doctors given ipods!
The University of Derby has given 35 ipods - costing £99 each - to radiography students, to provide them with "different ways to learn". One student said "We can see right through the idea."
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2008
Obesity: a problem of the brain?
Seven new gene variants discovered by scientists suggest strongly that obesity is largely a problem in the brain. UTTER CRAP I say: It 's largely a problem of the stomach."
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2008
Madonna gives Guy Ritchie £50 million in divorce settlement
The 'Material Girl' is reputed to have said: "Just count it as my annual charity gift to sick and dumb animals!"
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2008
Bloody Rocks!
Doctors develop a new technique to diagnose internal bleeding which could save the NHS nearly £14m a year. However it does not work on taxmen as the adage says "It's hard to get blood out of a stone!"
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2008
Hippo sinks canoeing scouts
Three scout leaders from Cornwall are back home after their canoe was sunk by a hippopotamus in west Africa. One might ask "What were the 3 doing in one canoe?" Canoodling no doubt!
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2008
Ripoff Madoff Fucksoff with loot
Aged Ponzi-Bastard Madoff (98) fucksoff with the loot. "Our Bernie", lovable old rogue, revealed as shyster who rips off charities, wealthy old farts, and eats babies for lunch.
written by jeremy griffiths, 15 December 2008
Bush Names Illinois Governor
When asked this afternoon about the Illinois Governor trying to sell Obama's Senate seat, everyone listened close to the Bush pronunciation. So far, "Balonysandwich" is the closest guess.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Santa's Sack Smaller
An article in the New York Times this morning intitled
"Santa's Sack A Lot Smaller This Year" alarms many parents, Mrs. Claus.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Arena Football Cancelled
The Arena Football League has cancelled it's entire 2009 season. I say, the Arena Football League has cancelled entire 2009 season. Anybody out there? It's their whole season, you know? Cancelled!
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Republicans Adopt Shoe-Throwing
The Republican minority in congress threaten not only vetoes but will begin throwing their shoes in disagreements with Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Winkler: Sit On It!
Henry Winkler has been arrested in Hollywood, California under suspicion that he was involved in a worldwide Fonzi Scheme during the late 1970's.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Kabul Celebrates
Kabul, Afghanistan citizens celebrated by firing automatic weapons in the air and throwing shoes at each other upon getting word that they have been chosen to host the 2012 World Terrorists Meetings!
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Putin On The Ritz
President Bush told reporters yesterday that he will meet once more with Putin on the Ritz balcony in New York City.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Same Family Legal
A judge in Maggody, Arkansas ruled this morning in the Jones Versus The Other Jones Case, that same family
marriages are legal.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Secret Service Adopts New Training Method
IRAQ - The SS today was seen firing weapons at each others shoes. One would take off his shoe and throw it at a second. The third agent would then blast the shoe prior to its hitting its mark.
written by Aspartame Boy, 15 December 2008
Another starlette poses almost nude on men's mag cover
Inside story insists healthy self-esteem
written by Picwit Picayune, 15 December 2008
Greece out of riot tear gas now deploying "chick flicks"
Appears to be more affective
written by Picwit Picayune, 15 December 2008
Gore, environmentalists implore Snow Miser to give them a break
Record low temps NOT helping their cause!
written by Picwit Picayune, 15 December 2008
Blind Taste Test
I don't know where I am, I'm blind. I just participated in a blind taste test of a table spoon of aspartame. Now I can't see. I guess it works.
written by Aspartame Boy, 15 December 2008
Leeroy Brown Busted
CHICAGO - Leeroy Brown was busted for carrying a pair of Buster Browns without a license. He had allegedly just stepped in some dog-dodo outside a federal office when he was spotted by the BATFS.
written by Aspartame Boy, 15 December 2008
President Bush - The Shoe Ducker
President Bush did as good a job at ducking those two shoes that were thrown at him in Baghdad as he did at ducking the weapons of mass destruction questions.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 December 2008
James Bond actor Daniel Craig says he's not a vegetarian
James Bond actor Daniel Craig told waiting reporters today that he's always been a carnivore amid rumours he was seen in a restaurant recently with a mystery swede.
written by Fuctifino, 15 December 2008
Fight the Good Fight
To mark the Season of Goodwill and the fallacy of Peace on Earth, God and Satan have agreed to a bare knuckle cage fight to finally settle their differences. Gouging and biting are allowed.
written by Rusty, 15 December 2008
Mistress Clears Edwards
Yesterday an accused former mistress claims that her baby, John Edwards Jr., not that of the North Carolina Senator and former presidential candidate.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Hoover Sucks
The National Enquirer will have a front page article in January on how the Hoover Vacuum Company trests their employees like dirt.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Who Condemns Big Tobacco
The W.H.O. condemns Big Tobacco companies of advertising focused on the world's youth, violently smashing guitars on the stage.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Bush Shoed Away
President Bush, while on a surprise visit to Iraq, had two shoes thrown at him during a speech. Since the second shoe may have glanced his leg, he was put in for a purple heart this morning.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Worse Down Under
"Economy and everything else is much worse under the Bush administration than when under Clinton", says Monica Lewinsky.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Two Enterprising Bums
Two enterprising bums have been arrested in New York City for using fake puke to mark their favorite sleeping places, outside that of the neat cells and full meals at the NYC jail.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Running Country No "Piece Of Pie"
President Bush has warned Barack Obama that running a country is no "piece of pie", but "at least you won't have a Vice President you have to keep shocking back to life."
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Iran's Peaceful Nuclear Energy Projects
Iran's Ahmadinejad stated this morning that they are only building nuclear plants for energy and other peaceful projects, such as tourism.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2008
Euro worth more than Pound shock
UK tourists aghast that the Pound in recession is now worth less than the Euro and on a par with the Zimbabwe dollar, with a Warburton's toasty loaf now costing £40
written by Rusty, 15 December 2008
X-Factor Files
Celebrity conspiracy theory double-act Mulder n Scully last night won first place in the X-Factor finals.
written by Rusty, 15 December 2008
Shoe Bush
An Iraqi has thrown his shoe at George W. Bush on a visit today. Bush was heard to say that he needed a new shoe Iraq.
written by IainB, 15 December 2008
Blog-ojevich
Disgraced senator, Rod Blagojevich, has set up an on-line blog called Blab-ojevich. It's for sale, if you want it.
written by IainB, 15 December 2008
Immigrant TV programme
7:30pm: 'Ray Mears Goes Cockle Picking in Morecambe Bay'
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2008
"Euro your Boat - Fritzy"
In a barbed comment aimed at the Germans after they criticized British monetary policy, Alastair Darling suggested, "You-row your lifeboat Fritzy, we'll row ours".
written by jeremy griffiths, 15 December 2008
Bring Out The Branson Goatee
Richard Branson has shaved off his Goatee & put it up for auction on Ebay it was revealed. Sir Richard hopes it will help other budding entrepreneurs to find success & catch crumbs from Hob Nobs.
written by Fuctifino, 15 December 2008
