Microsoft's New IE9 Will Come With Laser

Written by Inhopeless

Thursday, 10 February 2011

PALO ALTO, CA - In order to shift downloads of Microsoft's new Internet Explorer web browser, MS are desperately going to great lengths. Each download will come with a laser gun.

Internet Explorer, which has been losing market share to Firefox and Google Chrome, says that the shipping of the lasers was a 'bold move'.

"Not only does IE come with great security," said a spokesman, "it come with a free laser. Suck that 'Fox!"

The Firefox and Chrome user bases have laughed at the marketing gimmick.

"Oh please," said Inhopeless, "it sucks ass." However, MS have said, the laser cannot be used for other uses.

The new Firefox 4 beta release comes with a free, well-built car that can do anything from 2 to 12,000 km/h, depending on your wish.

"We thought that, hey," said a rep, "car beats laser. Especially since ours has a user base and cool addons."

Many consumers, who are stuck in the middle of this battle are... what? What do you mean, what's a browser? The internet is displayed using your browser... what am I smoking? Why the hell are you reading this? Go away!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more