Heidi Montag Claims That The Recent Unflattering Internet Photos of Her Butt Have Been Photoshopped or At Least Retouched

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 29 January 2011

LOS ANGELES - Heidi Montag told a Los Angeles entertainment publication that the recent photos of her derriere that are starting to appear on the Internet under such name categories as "Booty," "Bahookie," "Buns," "Badonkadonk," and "Bottom" have all been photoshopped.

Montag added that the ones that have not been photoshopped have at least been retouched.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: ? ]

Heidi talked to Butterfield Rosenhauser, a reporter with The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette and said, "Butty, I have had over 37 plastic surgeries done on every single part of my body, including three on my, excuse my German (French), ass and as a select few individuals who have had the pleasure of actually seeing my fanny know full well that my heinie is absolutely perfect, unlike the photos appearing on the Net."

Montag began weeping and confessed to Rosenhauser that she is willing to give him the names of several well known celebrities who will swear to him that Heidi Montag's butt is unequivocally, without a shadow of a doubt perfect.

Rosenhauser, who said that he used to date Ke$ha, before she got into glitter and her personality changed, told Heidi that he would be glad to call up the celebrities and asked for their names and phone numbers.

Montag took out her cell phone and gave him the names and numbers of the following noted celebrities; Spencer Pratt, Charlie Sheen, Kid Rock, Rosie O'Donnell, Mick Jagger, Chicharito, and Oksana Grigorieva.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: In order to protect the privacy of the named individuals I have taken the liberty of not including their private cell phone numbers especially Oksana Grigorieva's who I am thrilled beyond belief to say I will be going out on a date with next Friday.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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