Football Match to Determine Evolution or Creationism Once and For All

Funny story written by Cuff

Saturday, 20 March 2010


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In an effort to prove once and for all that evolution is the means of mankind's creation the Royal Society is challenging the religious community to a football match on what is billed as a neutral site; The Royal Society in London.

The rules of the match are that local clergy will be given one gallon of water, some dirt, and within seven days must create a football then kick it in a goal protected by eleven very hungry and put out lions.

The opposition and representatives for evolution will play a separate pitch on a slanted angle, be given anything they can imagine, and then once they create a ball have two and one half million years for it to roll into an unprotected goal.

"We wanted to recreate our greatest hour when Darwin's brilliance was first revealed." The groundskeeper for the Society commented. When pressed for reasons intelligent design was not invited to the match he emitted a groan.

"We have no desire here at the Society to even consider items that are possible to prove using rational thought. We're here to make money. Our funding is shot and we hope this match will keep us afloat."

When asked how ticket sales were going he answered once more with a groan.

"Well, we need good press but more importantly a gimmick so we are planning a nude tractor pull and no rules bad ass competition pitting Jews Christians and Muslims in a steel cage fight to the death.

"We tried to get top ten music artist Jimmi Hendrix to sing but found out he'd been dead for forty years so we might be stuck with Paula Abdul. She came up with a brilliant concept of returning to stardom by following Hendrix's lead so we will be staging her public execution at the event."

Upon this announcement ticket prices soared.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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