Written by Stu B

Monday, 11 October 2004

image for Warp Drive - A Reality
Nasa's Test Vehicle "USS PINTO"

Professor David Allen Batchelor of the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center announced today a major step forward in vehicle propulsion.

Simply put, his experts at NASA have designed a propulsion system that seems to generate a "gravity effect" which enables a an object to use the effect for propulsion. The effect could eventually lead to "near Light Speed travel" announced Batchelor.

An experiment was conducted in extreme secrecy late last month in the test facility in Sacramento when a Ford Pinto was equipped with two "nacelles" which contained materials that would theoretically shield the vehicle from the effects of gravity. Readings from inside the small ford hatchback showed a significant drop in the weight of a test subject who sat on some scales on the driving seat.

"Had we started up the vehicle and driven it, we may have seen improved performance as we postulate that the vehicle, at that time, weighed less than Oprah Winfrey"

The experiment was terminated at that point as there were concerns that the seat belts would not be strong enough for the speeds it was theoritacally capable of and the tyres were only remolds.

"Our next test will involve us actually starting the car and driving it for one mile along a test track and measuring how much energy was used to do so. Having a benchmark MPG already, we should be able to determine the quantum effect of the anti-grav nacelles and then be able to extrapolate whether the effect is beneficial" added Batchelor. If the effect is duplicated they are hopeful that the effect of warping gravity around the vehicle could help develop a "almost Lightspeed" drive for future inter stellar craft"

"It would certainly influence our thinking in terms of designing an interstellar vehicle, we would most likely increase the trunk space though as the Pinto was really only designed for interstate travel and two suit cases and a travel bag isn't likely to be enough for interstellar astronauts of this day and age" postulated Batchelor

He admitted that the technology bore some resemblance to the propulsion technologies used ion the popular Science Fiction TV And Movie series "Star Trek" and added "What is really weird is the car we used was an ex hire car, and the company we bought it from was enterprise rentals"

He denied that they were also working on Matter transportation, phasers, photon torpedos and that weird metal thing plugged into Uhuru's right ear that looked like a marital aid.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Space, NASA

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