Mars Rover Makes Startling Discovery

Funny story written by Stone Riprock

Friday, 2 July 2004

image for Mars Rover Makes Startling Discovery
NASA: No telling what's inside it

The Mars rover Opportunity, searching for signs of water that once may have flowed on Mars, has discovered something no one expected: Ben Affleck's career. It was found inside a stadium-sized crater that Opportunity has been exploring. NASA engineers are analyzing photos of the career, which is a small, grayish lump with bizarre mineral formations on its surface.

"Whatever it is, it's dead, and it's been there a long time," said NASA spokewoman Nancy Carter. "We've seen some strange things on Mars, but this may be the strangest yet." Scientists think the career may hold clues about the early formation of planets, as well as the until-now inexplicable tastes of American moviegoers.

Some at NASA want Opportunity to drill into the career and attempt to analyze its composition, but at least for now, mission chief Robert Atley says that won't happen. "There's no telling what's inside that thing," he said. "Drilling into it might stir it up somehow, and it might even head for Earth."

Atley grimaced. "That's something we can't risk."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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