London - (Methane Ass Mess): Killer global warming emissions from bean-guzzling, flesh-eschewing, veggie-nutters like Paul McCartney are melting more glaciers and displacing more polar bears/Emperor King penguins than the entire combined exhausts' output of Big Oil supermajors such as Chevron and ExxonMobil.
This week's empassioned plea by the ageing sexagenarian Beatle hoaxer for Compulsory Veggieburger Mondays was met with public derision as the daftass crooner's carbon footprint swelled with the hot air of his self-important eco-babble.
"British vegetarians and their fascist nutter vegan first cousins produce more killer gas from their wacky self-imposed diets than all the coal-fired power stations in China," Prof V Smartt of the Institute of Hydrocarbons commented today.
A proposed plan to freeze-dry all dead 'veggies' and recylce their remains into carbon-neutral home insulation cladding has been sent to the Envoronment Ministry.
