Written by FromTheBunker

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

image for N. Korea Threatens Global Warming
"Ice caps will disappear" Say's N. Korean Leader

Pyongyang N. Korea (FTB newswire) Next month world leaders will gather in Istanbul Turkey for the redundant Global Conference on Global Warming 2009. Notably absent will be Kim Jong Il of North Korea. Jong Il, dictator for life, of the world's newest nuclear power, has not received his invitation.

The Korean Central News Agency of DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea) reports that the Kim is feeling "Isolated" by the world community. Dictatorial Press Secretary, Wing Lon Ding said, "Our Beloved Leader rushes to the mailbox each morning, only to walk back to the palace more depressed than the day before."

To cheer up the Head of State, the Military has provided a series of nuclear explosions and missile tests for the Supreme Commander. Jong Long Do, Chief of Staff stated, "Our Dear Leader expressed joy seeing the nuclear blast."

Along the border with South Korea the military remain on alert. Jing lon Sing, assistant to the President of South Korea blames Al Gore for the missing invitation. Sing say's, "It is well known that Jong Il enjoyed Gore's movie, An Inconvenient Truth. He even commented, in a palace memo, on Gore's ability to cause mass destruction on a planetary scale. But Gore never returned any of Kim's emails or phone calls."

The latest embarrassment has lead to a series of inflammatory bulletins issued by the DPRK, threatening retaliatory strikes and "merciless offensive" nuclear attacks if the Dictator does not receive an invitation.

The Korean Central News Agency announced that Kim Jong Il has taken the unprecedented step of producing his own movie, An Inconvenient Bomb. The movie depicts North Korea following up on its threats. Posters have appeared on the streets of Pyongyang showing the "Most Merciless One" in a defiant pose with the caption, "You want Global Warming; I'll give you Global Warming!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Global Warming




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