Obama - "Microsoft is a threat to US National Security!"

Written by iscrivener

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

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Inside The Teleport

Microsoft computer scientists have set a new world record at sending an inanimate wooden cube shaped object through thin air using the revolutionary technology of quantum teleportation.

The team of scientists, based at Microsoft's Tijuana, Mexico site has teleported the cube over a distance of 90 miles from Puerto Vallarta to the islands of Las tres Marietas, which is 10 times further than previous attempts at teleportation through free space.

Using quantum untanglement and retanglement physics the cube was sent from one place to another. Tiny packets of dark matter photons, harvested from the recent Hadron collider experiments, were used to teleport the cube between two telescopic routers linked to two mainframe computers based at the two sites via the worlds first piece of semi artificial intelligent software, code named Microsoft Metamorph Version 1.

Despite recent advancements, quantum "tanglement" has so far been carried out only on the simplest forms of inanimate matter and single cell "animals" like the amoeba.

Scientists are very confident in their experiments and believe that by the end of 2009 the first small mammal will make the journey. Microsoft's PR department have already launched advertisements in various scientific journals to recruit the first human volunteers to make the same journey by the summer of 2010. Among the early volunteers are Amy Wong, Dwight Conrad and Leonard Nimoy!

On hearing the above developments President Barack Obama has called for a complete ban on future experiments claiming that the exponential rate of recent advancements in the field of quantum physics is "a very real threat to black US national security".

However counter arguments from on line businesses such as Amazon and subscribers to Ebay are keen to link up with Microsoft to transport small parcels via the new hardware, which will be the size of a conventional microwave oven, linked via the proposed pmail attachment based software!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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