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Funny satire stories about national security

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Funny story: Trump Suspends the Laws of Science

Trump Suspends the Laws of Science

Mar-A-Lago, FL Declaring martial law on scientists, President Donald Trump suspended all the rules of Science and forbade anyone to use or follow them until the ban is lifted. Trump would only say that it was a matter of national security. "It se...

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Funny story: Newest flatworm to be named after Giuliani

Newest flatworm to be named after Giuliani

Last week, a new species of flatworm discovered in Malaysia was named after President Barack Obama as Baracktrema obamai. The scientist making this designation, Thomas R. Platt, chose Mr. Obama, a distant relative, and a person Mr. Platt admires.

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Funny story: Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

On Wednesday night, democratic nominee for president Hillary Clinton used her time during the Commander-in-Chief Forum to talk about, among other things, national security, and how to confront ISIS, veteran's suicide, rape in the military, and taking...

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Funny story: David Cameron's Police State Britain

David Cameron's Police State Britain

10 Downing Street, LONDON: Over the past few days while jolly old Dave has been surfing, taking plenty of holidays, eating ice cream, there has been increasing Press reports of FEARS about security. Dave Cameron, a puppet for the New World Order,...

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Funny story: Snowden: Big Brother is watching every move you make

Snowden: Big Brother is watching every move you make

WHITEWSHINGTON, DC - According to top secret files released by Edward Snowden, the U. S. government plans to tap into employees' computers across the nation and, indeed, around the world, monitoring their every keystroke, telephone call, and emai...

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Funny story: You Have To Destroy A Nation To Save It

You Have To Destroy A Nation To Save It

I sat down with James Clapper, former head of U.S. National Security, to get his views on the current state of America as it relates to domestic spying and intelligence gathering activity. He has recently made headlines by demanding that Edward Snow...

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Funny story: Senator Feinstein decides reporters must have government clearance

Senator Feinstein decides reporters must have government clearance

Senator Feinstein is currently reported working toward legislation which will limit those who can report the news to official government representatives, with their work "classified." That is, reporters will soon be government workers with special...

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Funny story: "The One Indispensable Nation" applications go global

"The One Indispensable Nation" applications go global

This week a furor of verbiage over who, what, when, and why a nation is "indispensable" has swarmed across the globe very quickly. In fact, the very latest updates indicate a global contest is already underway. The world's smallest island nat...

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Funny story: Obama Announces Initiative to Find Divisibility Test for 7

Obama Announces Initiative to Find Divisibility Test for 7

President Obama announced that for the remainder of his presidential term, his administration's primary security initiative will be to find a divisibility test for the number 7. "A divisibility test for 7 has been a sort of Holy Grail, eluding us...

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Funny story: Bradley Manning copied secret documents thanks to lack of safeguards, book claims

Bradley Manning copied secret documents thanks to lack of safeguards, book claims

The civilized world is up in arms at the latest news that a soldier was able to hack into government computers and pass on secrets. It is alleged that this was all down to a simple lack of security. Some of these secrets will soon be made public u...

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Funny story: BBC's Hustle Stunt Causes UK/US Diplomatic Row

BBC's Hustle Stunt Causes UK/US Diplomatic Row

A stunt in the first episode of a new BBC series is stirring a war of words between security services in the UK and the USA. Series seven of the popular Hustle opened on Friday night with the heroes - a group of loveable con artists - coming to th...

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Funny story: Lure of Missile Defence Contract Prompts Starbucks To Remove "Coffee" From Logo

Lure of Missile Defence Contract Prompts Starbucks To Remove "Coffee" From Logo

Starbucks, the world's largest coffee maker has dropped its name and the word "coffee" from its ubiquitous cups. This seemingly suicidal move is allegedly only one in a long line of moves that are being made to enable the coffee maker to "move up the...

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Funny story: List of 2011 United States National Dangers Released

List of 2011 United States National Dangers Released

NEW YORK - The Shuttleworth Institute of Research have compiled data about the top 200 (of 200 million) dangers to national security. Several dangers from last year have reappeared, such as The Tea Party, Stubborness and many others. Here are s...

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Funny story: U.S Soldier Receives $1.3 million of "Support" From Ribbon Sales

U.S Soldier Receives $1.3 million of "Support" From Ribbon Sales

(November 11, 2010 -- Houston, TX)… A compelling story of patriotism warmed the nations heart this Veteran's Day as Lt. Bob McGuffie received a remarkable amount of "support" in the form of $1.3 million. McGuffie, who's a true American Hero despite...

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Funny story: White House Links Childhood Obesity to National Security

White House Links Childhood Obesity to National Security

First Lady Michelle Obama linked Child Hood Obesity to national security during a White House press event to launch her "Let's Move" campaign to end childhood obesity. She rightly pointed out "A recent study put the health care cost of obesity-rel...

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Funny story: Santa Claus files suit against U.S.

Santa Claus files suit against U.S.

North Pole - Santa Claus has filed a class action lawsuit against the United States stemming from what Santa says was specific targeting of him, his sleigh and his reindeer. Santa Claus claims that last Wednesday he was doing preliminary flig...

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Funny story: Obama - "Microsoft is a threat to US National Security!"

Obama - "Microsoft is a threat to US National Security!"

Microsoft computer scientists have set a new world record at sending an inanimate wooden cube shaped object through thin air using the revolutionary technology of quantum teleportation. The team of scientists, based at Microsoft's Tijuana, Mexico...

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