Barack Obama's schedule for 2009.
Will be doing these:
- smiling a lot
- using cutesy animals for cheap nauseating publicity stunts
- taking himself very seriously
- making speeches about absolutely nothing in tones that imply that he's making important speeches about world affairs
- hinting at skin pigmentation being important, when no-one outside America cares about it
- acting as if America is important, when no-one outside America thinks it is any more]
- using childish slogans rather than ever talking about actual policies
Will not be doing these:
- criticising the world's worst fascist nation of Israel
- stopping arming Israel
- explaining how an airliner was allowed to fly into New York City and into a skyscraper, unopposed by an air force that usually takes seconds to scramble and intercept unauthorised planes
- explaining how long after that happened the same air force allowed a second jet to do exactly the same thing again on the same day, despite them and the entire world being alerted to the danger
- explaining what exactly American soldiers are doing in Iraq
- explaining what exactly American soldiers are doing in Afghanistan
- spending the trillion dollar American defense budget on Americans in America, and their healthcare, jobs and well-being, rather than on British colonies in the Middle East
- mentioning a single concrete domestic policy
- serving a second term
But from his peanut-brain farm in Georgia, former President Jimmy Carter said: 'Hey, Democrat Presidents only get elected when the Republicans get a storm warning, then they put up their worst candidate to make sure they lose.'
'Then idiots like me or Kennedy or Obama can make fools of themselves, and get all the blame for what's gonna happen anyways, and it's back to another 20 years of right-wingers in the White House. That's the American way!'
And President Obama added: 'I see a change, a change for America, a change for the world. If we, the American people, can waffle about nothing but sound like we're statesman of stature and can fool other Americans to vote for us, then we shall achieve what we have achieved under every Democrat President since history began. Which is absolutely nothing.'
John Brown's body was being exhumed and sent to die again in Afghanistan, that important part of the USA that needs American soldiers to fight in. American taxes were following him there soon after.
