New studies from the Science Department at Cambridge University suggest that gravity is in fact a hoax. Scientists believe that if we jump as high as we can, with the same thrust as a Shuttle, we could be in space before we know it.
Yesterday, Dr. Gijak told The Spoof "This is very worrying, all this time we've believed that we're safe, but in fact, we're all in complete and total danger!" Dr. Gijak's work has been criticised, however, from most leading scientific minds across the globe.
"Dr. Gijak is a quack. He is talking complete b*****ks. Scientific theorems dating to the 16th century and common sense, as well as a simple test, show that gravity does in fact exist"
Dr. Gijak's previous theory's (all proven wrong) have concluded that the moon is a hoax and that crocodiles are in fact mutated earthworms.