Study Shows Researchers Tired of Conducting Studies

Funny story written by Doppelbock

Friday, 3 August 2007

image for Study Shows Researchers Tired of Conducting Studies
A researcher, tired of doing research.

BERKELEY, CA (AP Newsliar) -- A new study conducted by researchers at the University of California at Berkeley has revealed that researchers are sick and tired of conducting studies.

The study was led by Dr. Amanda B. Recondwyth, chair of the department of studies and research and redundancy within UC-Berkeley's college of statistics and numbers and such. Dr. Recondwyth's team conducted a survey of over 600 studies performed over the last 2 decades, with a view towards understanding researchers' changing attitudes over time.

The conclusion: Researchers are growing pretty damn tired of having to keep cranking out new studies all the time.

The study took over four years to complete, largely due to the growing apathy of the study team. Their findings are to be published in the November issue of Scientific American, assuming they can summon the interest to finish writing up the article.

A related study recently showed that authors of satire articles are growing sick and tired of writing satire articles. This study was conducted by, ah just fuck it, who cares anyway.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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