LITTLE ROCK – (Satire News) – The principal at Glen Campbell High School informed the media that beavers have literally taken over the campus and the classrooms. Principal Billy Ray “Bubba” Lemoncake, 52, told local reporters that at first, there…
Midwest, United States. Finding themselves desperately engaged in a horrible struggle to identify "at-risk" students and potential "drop-outs", as tuition money remains a top priority while coaches receive astronomical salaries, university leaders,...
A teacher in the Thai capital city of Bangkok was "crushed" when a student in his classroom guessed his age as 60, chuckling as he did. Moys Kenwood, 55, was asked his age by one of his more enthusiastic students, but he wasn't about to give the g...
This week, President Trump needs to deal with bigger issues than backing out of the Paris Climate Agreement. In early June, over 3.5 million Americans became unemployed. Sources say the government and the media are keeping this issue quiet because it...
With another academic year comes another addition to the University of Dayton student body. They University of Dayton is a small, Catholic college in Southwest Ohio. It is estimated that there are now over 8,300 full-time undergraduates enrolled, sig...
Notable Champagne-Humanitarian-Edgy-Rhetorical-Club, the NUS (National-Kropotkinite Union of Sympathisers) have taken advantage of the post-exam lull by sneaking in a typically creative and imaginative motion. The motion was passed by 19 votes to...
1. Why was it never explained to us at school how and why the banks rule the world and have put politicians in power to help them? 2. Why did they lie to me by getting me to believe that if I created something wonderful or excellent that I would be guaranteed success? This is false I now know. A mediocre talent well connected to the right people is more likely to become a success than a genius...
Students at the university of Bihar in India have been seen hanging out of windows passing their exam papers to students doing the same exam the next day. The University are powerless to stop the students exchanging papers because there is no glas...
Mothers with small girls throughout Britain have been besieging colleges such as Oxford with inquiries about degrees and doctorates in Princessology. The new course has been offered to cater for tens of thousands of keen children obsessed with dr...
DENVER - Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper has just informed all of the law enforcement departments in the state that no one will be taking vacations the week of Spring Break. The governor stressed that the state is expecting upwards of 6 millio...
Attention mass killers, you better not go into an Arkansas school as each child has been issued a weapon that is under their desk. The ammo can be unlocked quickly by the teacher or room monitor. Of course, the early grades will only have stun gun...
CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just announced that it has named the state of Colorado as the nation's most popular state. The Rocky Mountain High State overwhelmingly beat out the second place finisher; California. The ADGA...
"In this age of facebook likes, tweeter twits, doo-hickies, smart phones, and zippy dees, it's rare to find young people reading a book," declares Manny Zahrelik, Ph.D, professor of English Literature and Composition at Philistine University. Pro...
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's Rice Paddy Whack National News Agency is reporting that its leader Kim Jong Un has made arrangements to visit one of his favorite countries Sweden. Kim Jong Un has never been to Sweden but he has seen lots of...
HARLEM SHAKE, NY (Acme Quicknews) -- Students of Leonidas Memorial High School protest in front of the school gates last March 5, 2013. According to Angelica Maldita, a Grade 10 student of the said school, the protest is for their English teacher...
More and more girls are avoiding universities because of the increase in bees observed in academia. Female school-leavers are now 50 per cent less likely than males to end up at university. Many girls really hate bees, and the thought of being...
PHOENIX, Arizona - The governor of the border state of Arizona, Jan Brewer, has just announced that she has met with a select committee and they have found an answer to the unruly school kids on a school bus problem. Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer,...
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