Millions of Addresses and Thousands of Sites, All Leading to One

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Monday, 28 May 2007

image for Millions of Addresses and Thousands of Sites, All Leading to One
Mark Lowton as he wields his "Dark Side" light saber

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Dublin - If you THINK you have a good handle on the Internet economy, check this out...

What Internet business has raised $120 million in financing in the last year, owns 725,000 Web sites, and has as its chief executive the former head of Primedia and International Data Group? Why Mark Lowton's, of course!

"We're rolling in dough over here," said Lowton, "thanks to that title of Duke I bought from Tony Blair! We're quickly approaching the #1 spot in the Greedy Bastards Club! We make ALL THIS MONEY and STILL don't pay our writers. What maroons! They keep writing for us anyway. How's that for screwing the little people?"

Mark uses the front of working at a video store rewinding videos to fool the writers into believing that he's as poor as they are.

"What we've wanted to do, quietly, is amass the largest real estate position on the Internet, which we feel we have," Mr. Lowton said.

Some of those properties, he said, are the equivalent of "oceanfront" sites, or high-value addresses like or that will populate with irrelevant editorial content. Those who type in any of's other 6,000 or so photography-related Internet addresses, like, will land on

Mark Lowton commented, "How do you think we get all these free pictures for our site? We just steal them from whomever contributes to those sites. We have similar methods for acquiring all our software"

Mark Lowton is being considered as the Corrupt Bastards Club "Corrupt Bastard of the Year" award. Last year he received the runner-up award, his own working "Dark Side" light saber.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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