CHICAGO - (Satire News) - A group of 7,207 of the best, most respected psychiatrists in the entire United States met at Chicago's Eliot Ness Convention Center to discuss today's jerks, punks, douche bags, and assholes.
The National Rumblings News Agency reported that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Mitch "The Moscow Bitch" McConnell, and the butt-ugly bitch Marjorie Taylor Greene took up a lot of the convention's time.
But as NRNA writer Traci Diddle reported, by far the evil, hateful, totally fucked up governor of Texas, Greg Abbott ended up stealing the "Show."
Abbott, about which VP Harris and Ann Coulter both agree looks like his face is full of road bumps, was the psychiatrists featured punching bag, and rightly so.
Greg, who owns five electric, high-dollar wheel chairs that he shamefully billed the Texas taxpayers for, said that like Joan of Arc said over 95 years ago, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me, at least not anymore than that damn tree that fell on my fuckin' ass has."
