MIAMI - (Satire News) - The US Weather Guild is reporting that a huge, dangerous-as-shit hurricane has just formed off the coast of Cuba.
The hurricane, which is predicted to hit the Florida Keys as a Category 6, could most likely end up totally submerging the place (Key West) that calls itself "The Most Openly X-Rated Partying Place in The USA."
One resident who was born and raised in California, said that he has been through earthquakes, monsoons, mudslides, forest fires, mini-tsunamis, and smog as thick as Nicki Minaj's gigantic ass, so a little gust of fucking wind isn't going to bother him one shit bit.
The man identified as Willis "Skippy" Skippavetti, 28, said that he'll just wear an extra pair of exercise tights, put on a swimming cap, and drink lots and lots of Kiwi Margaritas.
SIDENOTE: The Sheriff of Key West has asked "Skippy" and all of the other smartass, conceited, island assholes and assholettes to please write their social security number on their arms (for identification purposes).
