The Santa Ana Winds in California Are So Strong, They’re Picking Up Boulders The Size of Hyundai Elantras

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 19 June 2021

image for The Santa Ana Winds in California Are So Strong, They’re Picking Up Boulders The Size of Hyundai Elantras
This is a photo of a highway just north of Pomona, California with the Santa Ana Winds blowing at 77 mph.

BUENAS NOCHES, California – (Satire News) – Some of the state’s most veteran meteorologists are shaking their heads in disbelief as some of the Santa Ana Winds have been clocked at 103 mph.

One long-time jalapeno farmer, Gunther Hoodhilly, 83, who also raises dairy cows, said that he actually had to tie down two of his milk cows, in order to keep them from becoming airborne and ending up who-the-heck-knows-where.

Boom Boom News reports that an Egyptian-American family, who was driving from Rancho Cucamonga to visit relatives up in Sausalito, reported seeing an astounding gust of wind that actually picked up a boulder that was the size of a late model Hyundai Elantra.

An Accuweather spokeswoman stated that the California senate has been asked to vote to change the name of the Santa Ana Winds.

When she was asked why, she remarked, that Vice-President Kamala Harris, who lives in San Francisco, promised Mexico’s Vice-President Matthew Jonathan San Andreas that the name, which is offensive to the citizens of Mexico, will be changed as soon as humanly possible.

Meanwhile, attorney Ginger Allred, who has been hired by the government of Mexico, was informed by Bravo information guru, Andy Cohen, that the name Santa Ana Winds will in fact be dropped. and it will be replaced by the more American-sounding name the Hot Sexy Babe Winds.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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