A Herd of Angry Alaskan Sperm Whales Has Sunk a Norwegian Oil Tanker

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 6 May 2021

image for A Herd of Angry Alaskan Sperm Whales Has Sunk a Norwegian Oil Tanker
A photo of 3 of the 7 whales that sunk the "Sardine Queen."

THE ALEUTIAN ISLANDS (Alaska) – (Satire News) – The Seattle Exulter-Herald has divulged that a herd of seven sperm whales have sunk the Norwegian oil tanker The Sardine Queen, 27 miles off Eskimo Baby Island, located in Alaska's Aleutian Islands.

Initial reports state that the oil tanker was split in four pieces and all four have sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. An Eskimo cargo ship, The Nanook of The North #7, was able to rescue the entire crew of 19 Scandinavians.

One helicopter pilot who flew over the wreckage reported seeing millions of gallons of crude oil, thousands of oil-eating seabirds, and hundreds of gallons of sperm.

The cause of the vicious whale attack is still under investigation, but a witness reported seeing the ship's Captain Erasmus Grungebinder, shoot one of the seven whales with an industrial slingshot used to control unruly dolphins and penguins.

The witness added that the seven whales suddenly lined up and looked like the defensive line of the Las Vegas Raiders.

The alpha whale then whistled and the whale line moved forward hitting the Sardine Queen at least 8 times.

The stricken vessel did not even have time to send out an SOS and all that was sent was an SO.

BuzzFuzz has reported that the ship's captain is an American citizen, and a registered charter member of the white extremist groups the Proud Boys, the American Nazi Party, and the Ku Klux Klan.

Meanwhile, Bravo guru Andy Cohen has commented that Captain Grungebinder will definitely be going to trial, be found guilty, and be sent to prison.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more