Pregnant cat punches male cat in the eye! He got too close!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 18 August 2020

image for Pregnant cat punches male cat in the eye! He got too close!
"Don't fuck with me you horny rascal! I'm 'up the spout'!"

(UNEDITED) Highly pregnant women can sometimes be quite sensitive when their male partners attempt to have a bit of 'slap and tickle' during the nine months! However, our feline partners react quite differently when nearing birth of their kittens!

Pregnant farm cats transform into Cassius Clay's if a male care dares to get too close. A left hook to the eye or nose keeps nosy, interested males away, and if that doesn't work, then an out-stretched deadly weapon, called a claw, punched out like an 'exocet missile' will certainly do the job.

Spoiled domestic felines, pampered and wrapped in blankets, are not use to males sniffing their rear-ends Hence, their natural instinct to protect their unborn kittens is reduced to rolling over on their bellies hoping for a gentle stroke from their overjoyed owners; unless there's already 12 cats in the house!

Farm-Cat expert, Jaggedone, has studied several pregnant cats utlising their quite astonishing defence systems against foolish male suitors not realising their target is pregnant. His conclusion is; a bit of 'slap and tickle' is certainly out of bounds and could end up with a horny male getting a good 'whooping' or even losing an eye; OUCH!'

Luckily, for bonking, horny male cats, felines do actually enjoy the moment, and do not devour their males like praying manta's do after copulation. But once 'up the spout' they are totally inaccessible and, more dangerous than Mike Tyson ever was, although biting off ears is too strenuous even for a pregnant farm cat!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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