Man Finds Giant Seashells In His Back Garden

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 19 November 2019

image for Man Finds Giant Seashells In His Back Garden
The shells alongside a copy of the Hull Colour Pages phone book (for scale)

A man has revealed how, during a casual walk around his back garden at the weekend, he discovered a quantity of giant seashells - even though his home is more than 150 miles from the nearest coastline!

The seashells, which were thought to be giant mollusc snail shells, were found by Moys Kenwood, 56, as he strolled around the rear of his property on Sunday afternoon.

"They are enormous, and quite the biggest seashells I have ever seen," he said. "Not that I've seen many seashells. It's more a figure of speech than anything else, if you know what I mean."

The shells are almost as big as a telephone directory, and a rather dirty brown colour.

It was immediately summized by the amateur know-nothing that they may date from as far back as 25,000 years ago, but just as likely that they were tossed there last week by his wife and her friends, who had bought some exotic seafood from the market.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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