It's been confirmed, this morning, that Greta Thunberg, the steely-eyed environmental activist who knows more than any other 16-year-old kid on Planet Earth, is to make her broadcasting debut as a Chaser on ITV's teatime quiz show, 'The Chase', hosted by Sir Bradley Wiggins.
Wiggins is to take over from Bradley Walsh, swapping his bike saddle for the relative comfort of the television studio.
Thunberg, with her intense stare that can turn her targets to stone, will be known on the show as 'The Swede', and will form part of the team that includes The Beast, The Dark Destroyer, The Smiling Assassin, The Governess, and The Vixen, all of whom are oddments.
Greta is still, officially, a student, but, as with her environmental campaigning, her parents have said "ah, bollox!", and allowed her to skip education, so that she can harry, taunt, intimidate and belittle mugs from the general public on national television.
Former host, Walsh, said:
"I loved my time as host, but I knew that my number was up when they invited Greta onto the team. She's just too scary! Imagine being chased by that! It doesn't bear thinking about!"
Sir Bradley Wiggins has sweaty knackers.
