COLD VILLAGE, North Pole – A group of archaeologists from Zimbabwe recently made quite a discovery. The team of scientists traveled to the North Pole to study the migratory, dietary, and sexual habits of the Emperor penguins who are prone to havin...
An environmental crisis is unfolding in the north Atlantic, after it was revealed that, due to global warning and climate change, Iceland is melting. The Nordic island country with a population of just under 358,781 used to have an area of 103,000...
BuzzFeed—Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was detained by ICE today at the US-Mexico border for allegedly helping a migrant and her infant when He was caught by border patrol agents offering them water and sustenance. Jesus, said a spokesman for ICE, w...
A search for Sir Ernest Shackleton's ship, Endurance, lost in the icy floes of the Antarctic in 1915, has been called off after a piece of equipment critical to the search was also lost. After months of trying to survive in extreme conditions whe...
Queens, NY - JFK Airport is the first major airport to sniff out illegal aliens. As travelers entering the United States wait to retrieve their luggage, ICE enforcement agents use canines to determine which travelers are illegal immigrants. The pro...
Bronx, N.Y. - Ice bucket challenges have gone viral in the social media circuit. These challenges involve a nomination of friends who will either take the challenge or donate to a charity to fund research to reduce morbidity and mortality caused by A...
WASILLA, Alaska - The Undisputed Queen of The Geographical Boo-Boo's, Sarah Palin has struck again. This time "Snowflake" Palin told a reporter for American Spotlight Magazine that the Lower 48 states Winter has definitely been a harsh one. She...
Millions of viewers turned on their television sets to watch hordes of "Walkers" terrorizing the outlying areas of Atlanta recently. No, this was not the latest mid-season premiere of AMC's hit show The Walking Dead. Every major news outlet was...
NUUK, GREENLAND - In a cooperative educational program between Denmark and the U.S., America's laid off construction workers and cowboys will be retrained for fresh water retrieval in Greenland's vast ice sheet which covers 81% of the country (677,85...
ATLANTA, Georgia - Meteorologists throughout the Peach State of Georgia are warning state residents that big bad Snowzilla is on her way. Thick layers of ice up to 2-feet thick are being predicted and some estimates expect as much as 19 inches of...
Once again the industrial safety commission OSHA has brought the world's Winter Olympic Games to a grinding halt. As with the 2010 games in British Columbia, the commission has found numerous faults in the various Olympic venues in Sochi, Russia.
Causing Al Gore to grind his teeth, MENSA Headquarters has issued a world cooling down over the next 25-100 years. "It's overdue already and could begin at any time", stated spokesman Howard Hawking. Why is the well-known group going against A...
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA - "It's not like I don't do quality work," states Dr. Ernest Spunn, "I have been making my living on quality AND quantity. I have been moving through people in sheer volume, especially when I'm tweaking! Root canals, extractions,...
Leading British medical bodies, concerned about high levels of alcohol-related health problems, are calling for more ice to be used in drinks. An increase of 50 per cent more ice in an average glass of beverage bought in pubs and bars would reduc...
SNOWBALLS, Alaska - The government of Alaska has been asked by the Eskimo population of the village of Snowballs to address a situation that is becoming more and more serious. A spokesperson for Alaska's Northern Eskimos identified as Fafanook Vap...
EMMAUS PA - News from the Broad Street Saloon in Emmaus, PA is backing up global warming, despite the cooked results previously reported. Scientists there noticed that while drinking scotch on the rocks, that the rocks melted. As this melt transpir...
During this festive season, authorities ran a major campaign against Alcoholism. Today, authorities have been forced to take a very usually step backwards and are now encouraging people to over indulge as they used to. The reason for this majo...
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