Man Sustained Eye Injury Looking For Super Blood Red Wolf Sun

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 23 January 2019

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A man who stood outside his house for more than four hours on Monday in an attempt to view what astronomers described as a Super Blood Red Wolf Sun, had to return inside unsuccessfully after straining his eyes, and making them bloodshot.

Moys Kenwood, 55, had never before undertaken any kind of astronomy, and wasn't quite sure what to expect of the Super Blood Red Wolf Sun. He had read that the Sun would appear closer to the Earth, and was keen to see this.

At around 12:10pm, just after his dinner, Kenwood went and stood in the garden at the front of the house, and peered over a fence. He saw only the Sun that he saw every other day, and it seemed exactly the same as usual. He persevered, sure that the Super Blood Red Wolf Sun would appear soon. He narrowed his eyesockets, and stared, relentlessly.

After about an hour, his eyes began to hurt, and he went inside, sure he hadn't got up early enough, and had missed it.

He said:

"There was a searing pain. I could hardly see. I couldn't help feeling that somebody had played a cruel hoax on me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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