To Promote Diversity Donald Trump Insults Nearly Every Other Ethnic Group in America

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Sunday, 12 June 2016

image for To Promote Diversity Donald Trump Insults Nearly Every Other Ethnic Group in America

Twittersphere, USA--Having already insulted Mexicans, Blacks, and Muslims and now--with his attacks on Twitter calling Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas"--Native Americans as well, Donald Trump today launched a new diversity campaign to offend nearly every other ethnic group in America. Attacking Jack Lew, Secretary of the Treasury, about his comment on the recent jobs numbers for May, Trump tweeted, "Lew the Jew says the May jobs numbers are nothing for hard-working Americans to worry about. The Obamanation train is headed for disaster!"

Then, realizing that he had not yet insulted anyone of Portuguese descent, Trump tweeted, about Secretary of Energy Ernest Moniz, "Sleaze ball Moniz wants to put hardworking Americans employed in the mines out of work. Don't let Obamanation destroy our great nation."

Realizing that he had not yet insulted Indians from the subcontinent, and thinking he could also include in his attack Pakistanis, Trump tweeted about President Obama's Surgeon General, "Vivek Murthy wants to keep hard-working Americans from exercising their right to smoke in restaurants. Don't let that pious Paki curtail your right to smoke!" (Mr. Trump, like most Americans, could not think of an ethnic slur for Indians from the sub-continent--in fact, wasn't even sure where the Indian sub-continent was on a map.)

Trump also tweeted, this time going after Chinese both in America and abroad, "Don't give away the whole store to the Chinks by supporting Trans-Pacific Partnership. Vote for Trump to put American jobs first."

Advisors to Trump say the candidate is still looking for more ethnic slurs to employ, as his campaign tries to reach out to a whiter--er, that is, wider--cross-section of real Americans.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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