Woody Allen Talks About The Rumor He Fathered A Child With Marilyn Monroe

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 26 February 2014


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Woody as he appeared in the 1979 film The Hood From The Hood. (Photo courtesy of Bo Derek).

NEW YORK CITY - Woody Allen, who is 78-years-old, told Larry King during an appearance on The Viagra View that he is beginning to feel like a damn punching bag.

Allen, who has been married to his step-daughter Soon-Yi-Previn for 16 years, has been charged by his ex-wife Mia Farrow of having given their children an overabundance of high-caloric sweets.

Ms. Farrow stated in a court hearing recently that it is a wonder that all of her children did not turn out to look like Kirstie Alley.

She paused for a moment and then made the gender distinction by adding "or John Goodman."

Allen, who looks anorexic, has repeatedly stated that he had no idea that the sweets contained the tremendously high amounts of sugar that they did.

He said had he known he would have given them baby carrots, raisins, or Saltine Crackers instead.

Woody mentioned to King that he recently read in the supermarket tabloid Say What? that he had fathered a child with 50's sex goodess Marilyn Monroe.

He told Larry that he was so shocked when he read that article, while standing in the check out line at the grocery store, that he dropped his loaf of bread, his carton of eggs, and his box of condoms.

SIDENOTE: Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk investigated the Marilyn Monroe baby charges and she learned that Monroe never had a baby from any man, much less a wimpy little twit like Woody Allen.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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