Horror: Man Puts Two Sugars In Wife's Coffee

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

image for Horror: Man Puts Two Sugars In Wife's Coffee
A coffee, yesterday.

A sussex man was in shock last night after admitting to police that he had put two sugars in his wife's coffee.

The unnamed man, Brian Talbot (53), told officers the incident occurred at around half past nine, when his wife Vera asked him to be a love a stick the kettle on.

'I just saw red' he told bewildered officers, who couldn't work out why he was loitering in reception at the station, 'I'd been waiting days to see the final episode of Guitar Star on Sky Arts, and she was going to deny me that. No way, I said!'

'She never has sugar, not even on her cereal in the morning!' he stammered.

'I regret my actions now, but it's done,' he told us 'I don't think there's any coming back from something like this. You can't take the sugar out of the tea, as my old man used to say. Only it was coffee in this case. But it works the same.'

'I don't know what came over him,' a distraught Vera told reporters at a press conference, from under the bedroom window of her sisters house where she's staying, 'I don't even drink coffee!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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