The South Has Exported Their Racism all Over America - and now, the Weather

Funny story written by UncleDale

Sunday, 28 August 2022

image for The South Has Exported Their Racism all Over America - and now, the Weather
We will make the whole country like the Old South.

It started years ago - in the South - in the 1900's.

Most of the country had and trolley cars. There were few cars. Trolleys were a blessing in cities - cheap, non polluting.

Southern scientists, back then were always on the lookout for ways to get back at the hated North. They heard about this newly invented device - the gas powered automobile - and saw it would be popular.

Robert E. Lee Beauregard, a genius - level Southern scientist - was the first to figure it out:

"We have to support that Carpet - bagger Henry Ford, and others Northern car manufacturers", he said.

“If we can get 20 Million of those gas guzzling, polluting contraptions on the road - I estimate scientifically that we can make the whole country have our nasty, hot, humid Southern Weather. Do major Climate Change.

“The North will sweat their balls off - especially New York City, Boston and D. C. .

“That will be our great Revenge.

“And politically we will export our Racism - turn the whole country Racist. So they will shoot Colored People in every state - if they step out of line - (or even if they don't step out of line).

“Play poor Whites against the well-to-do Blacks.

“And we will get Northern politicians to do it. The Minority Republicans especially like that political game.

“We will make the whole country like the Old South.

“We will fix them for invading us - and ruining our economic life by taking away Slavery.

“They are all going to be Hot and Sweaty Haters when we get done with them."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more