St. Peter: No Covid Mask, No Place in Heaven

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 3 August 2022

image for St. Peter: No Covid Mask, No Place in Heaven
This statue of St. Peter foreshadows the 2022 pandemic.

The Pearly Gates. Woof Bluster with a SINful report for Spoof Interplanetary News. Heaven's on-again, off-again mask policy on Covid was strictly enforced today when St. Peter forced half a dozen elderly applicants to return to Earth to get suitable masks for their time in Eternity.

"We can't run the risk of the spread of the pandemic to Heaven because some lackadaisical Christians either forgot their masks or are among the Covid-deniers who also rejected vaccines," said St. Peter.

For a time there was a pop-up mask vending site just outside the Pearly Gates but the quality of the masks was such that St. Peter would not allow them to be worn as entry masks.

When one person seeking entrance without a mask protested vigorously against the mask requirement, St.Peter suggested that he could "Go to Hell." He did!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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