WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Secret Service agents that were assigned to protect Trump from the tens of millions of people, Democrats, Independents, and even more Republicans than anyone would ever believe, have revealed a secret that the man whose secret code name was "Big Mac," made them promise never to reveal.
Secret Service agent Wyatt Earp (not his real name) told Cloud 9 News Agency reporter Lexi Aspen, that Trump had a tremendous addiction to Big Mac burgers.
Earp noted that many times Lard Belly would call him up at 3 am and tell him to drive to the local McDonalds and bring him back three Big Macs, a family order of McFries, and a 44-ounce cup of strawberry McMalt.
Trump's six personal bodyguards were all sworn to secrecy because he did not want anyone to think that he had an uncontrollable fetish for Mickey D's Big Macs (which old Nazi Britches definitely had).
