Our reporter conducted an on-site survey of the recent gastronomic offerings at the Beijing Olympic Village. It revealed the following list of Chinese delicacies, tended to by Lin Yee Tang, steam table server extraordinaire and Beijing Sewer Purification Specialist.
Who says the CCP is starving Olympic athletes!?!
Aged Sea Urchin Spines in an Eel gelatin Mousse
Boiled Snake skins over Sea Turtle intestine Fricassee
Fried Lice – er, uh, Rice…no…it’s Lice
Dim Sung dumplings stuffed with Beijing Sewer ‘Swimmers’
General Tsao’s smoked Rat
Ying-ling Boar testicle Croquettes
Breaded Gobi Desert Fox Cutlets with Fur Accents
“Beijing Sewer Surprise" Quiche
Manchurian Musk-Ox Manure Mush
Red Army Re-Purposed Rabbit Stew with organic pellets
Yellow River Stinky Fish Fillets
Cantonese Pork-Tongue Pizza
Bow-wow Chow Mein
Shanghai Slug Pie Ala Mode
Puree of Uyghur Lard
South China Sea Sea-Weed Salad with Chicken-claw Croutons
Hong Kong Sweet’n’Sour Censured Soup
Beijing Sewer Vole Fritters
Xi Jinping Broiled Hair Balls
