BEIJING, China – (Winter Olympics Satire) – The first big controversy at Bejing’s Winter Olympics has occurred.
China’s Fortune Cookie News Agency reported that the Women’s Free-Style Snowball Tossing Event turned extremely ugly.
It appears that the team from Finland did not like the fact that a member of the Panamanian team, who has since been identified as Carlota Puma, called them sardine-smelling albinos.
The captain of the Finnish team (Evette Pyttipannu) rolled up a snowball the size of the Trumptard’s humongous belly and threw it at the Panamanian snowball tosser, knocking her out for about 35 seconds.
Three Olympic security guards intervened into the fracas, which now involved 14 Olympians, and before it was all over 8 of the brawlers had been tased.
The Beijing Winter Olympics Committee is going to conduct a thorough investigation, but for now, the Finish team has been asked to pack up their sardine-smelling luggage and go back to their frozen country.
Meanwhile the injured Panamanian member is resting comfortably in the Yao Ming General Hospital, where doctors managed to remove most of the snow from her uterus, her cervix, her G-spot, and one of her ovaries.
