From Beyond, Jeeves and Bertie Wooster Contact Jaggedone to Inquire if Holland is Underwater yet!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 3 November 2021

image for From Beyond, Jeeves and Bertie Wooster Contact Jaggedone to Inquire if Holland is Underwater yet!
Imagine Lennon reading Lenin, he might still be around!

04.00 AM between Jaggedone's wax filled earholes:

Jaggedone to Jeeves: "Damn it Jeeves, can't you let an Old Codger get his beauty sleep!"

Bertie Wooster: "Jeeves ol' Bean, I heard that Holland could be underwater by 2050, have you heard that too?"

Jeeves his Butler: "Sire, The Dutch are quite capable of dealing with such problems, they even collaborated with Adolf!"

"By golly Jeeves, you are right, I remember when ol' Adolf was waiting on the border to invade Holland, the Dutch resistance was holding firm until someone yelled, 'Koffie is Klar'! (Coffee is ready) and their resistance crumbled just like an Apple Crumble topped with yellow custard!"

"Sire, that's rather yummy, but Holland is as flat as a pancake, and old Adolf, the rascal, loved devouring pancakes!"

"Jeeves, now, now, at least their Queen got out just in time with her German hubby, in fact, I invited them to stay at our mansion, do you remember?"

"Yes sire, luckily they hopped over to the States believing New Amsterdam was still Dutch and we 'stiff upper lip' Brits really do not like hosting those strange Europeans anyway, they speak such silly languages!"

"Jeeves ol Chap, what a linguistic cad you are, you remind me of my Uncle Herbert, he could speak perfect French, and by golly, he would even swear at ol De Gaulle!"

"Sire, the French were rather like the Dutch, they ducked when Adolf started to goosestep all over them!"

"Jeeves ol bean, it's a damn good thing we have our wonderful island to protect us from those weird speaking Europeans, by the way, is that dastardly Stalin still alive?"

"No Sire, he crumbled just like the Dutch did when our Yankee allies offered him a piece of their Big Apple, he could not resist just like Adam!"

"Jeeves, if I remember correctly, King George invited him for high tea at the palace, is that correct?"

"Sorry Sire, wrong again, that was Tsar Nicolas, sadly he didn't complete the journey, it was a Bolshevik thing instigated by Lenin."

"Damn bloody story that one, I could never believe ol Lennon would do such a thing!"

"Sire, Lenin, not Lennon, however, he was assassinated too, and they believe he was also a Commie, Imagine that Sire."

"It's all propaganda balderdash Jeeves, now is Holland sinking without trace or not?"

"Sire, that Johnson scoundrel, and the new US president, seem to have all the answers, but I do believe it is all Double Dutch."

"Jeeves ol bean, it would be a shame if the Dutchies sink without trace, I loved visiting old Queen Juliana for 'een Kopje koffie', and a joint or two!!

"Sire, please do not divulge too many dark aristocratic secrets to your subordinates, they still believe in 'Rule Britannia', and we would not wish to destroy their fantasies."

"Correct Jeeves ol Bean, time for a cup of hot cocoa before you turn the lights out!"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more