P.G.Wodehouse reincarnates Jeeves his Butler and Bertie!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 16 January 2021

image for P.G.Wodehouse reincarnates Jeeves his Butler and Bertie!
So happy to have Bertie's uncle's Easeby Hall back in Vogue 'Old Beans!"

(NOT EDITED) Two majestic, comical figures in the realms of British literature are making a comeback in 2021! P.G. Wodehouse is long gone; however, his comical ghost still haunts the minds of those who loved his typical 'stiff upper lip', aristocratic stories.

The ghost of P.G. has entered Jaggedone's lughole and requested him to reignite his passion for Jeeves and Bertie Woodhouse in the modern era. P.G. has given Jaggedone some 'Tips' (Wow, it is teatime!) about how to integrate this famous pair into the modern world and here they are:

"Jeeves Old Bean have you read that drat Daily Express rat-pack, I hear old Rees-Mogg is one of us!"

"No Sire, but he's certainly a vital member of a Rat-Pack currently residing in the House.

"Jeeves, that's rather spiffing, pop down to London and invite him to high tea in our glorious mansion."

"Yes Sire, can I borrow the Rolls?"

"Which one?"

"Sire, the 1920 Silver Shadow will do, better than these modern Indian made Jaguars that old BOJO bombs around in, that'll impress them when I turn up!"

"But Jeeves Old Bean who is BOJO? I only know ol Rees-Mogg, what a cad he was, could not punt down at Henley to save his life! And that striped blazer he wore to impress the ladies, no taste whatsoever!"

"Sire, BOJO is that blond-headed imbecile our British electorate voted after they dumped May!"

"Oh, Rod Stewart, he's so common, and Scottish too, by golly did they replace Maggie?"

"No Sire, not that May, the other one who liked pole-dancing in front of the EU negotiators!"

"Oh her, looks a tiddly-bit bit like that Russian nymph, Volga Olga,"

"Yes Sire, that one, now enough small talk, I'll get James to chauffeur me down to London, can't wait to visit the place now it's empty and all those damn foreigners have been sent home!"

"Say hallo to that BOJO chap for me, does he reside at Nr.10 too?"

"Yes Sire, but he rides a bicycle to work!"

"By golly, a bicycle! What has become of our once great nation which ruled the waves, stuffed that Hitler chappie, and told Eisenhower to drink Earl Grey not that damn Nescafe stuff, are they still our allies!"

"Just about Sire, but their last president rather rocked the boat, but he owns a golf course where Rod Stewart was born!"

"Up there among the Heathens?"

"Yes Sire, maybe we can invite him for tea when he pops over for a round or two because Scotland won't let him in."

"By golly Jeeves Old Bean, once a heathen always a heathen, you are full of grand ideas, give him a tinkle and let him know our mansion is his mansion!"

"Yes Sire, will do, but must tootle-loo now, London awaits, and I believe I must wear a mask!"

"Jeeves Old Chap, we won the second world war years ago, and you do not need to wear gasmasks anymore, silly old Sausage!"

"Yes, Sire I know, but that enemy we could see, this one we cannot, so I need to don a mask before entering the Houses."

"Jeeves, ask the maid to pop down to the cellar, I do believe I still have a gasmask down there."

"Yes Sire, anything is better than wearing those silly NHS ones."

"NHS, what is that Jeeves?"

"I do believe it saves the poor from getting the plague."

"Jolly fine institution Old Bean, now run along, I need to take my Alzheimer medicine!"

The world cannot wait for more of this superb literary reunion, so, Tootle-loo for now!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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