Charlie Brown vs. Lucy 1967

Funny story written by Butch

Monday, 12 October 2020

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Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown vs. Lucy 1967 (Around the time of The Great Pumpkin)

It is a case that many were unaware of at the time, as it went under the radar from most news channels. But Charlie Brown sued his co-star, Lucy, for injuries received from moving the football in 13 instances, giving faulty advice as a ‘so-called’ psychiatrist, and general harassment inciting others against him.

Charlie Brown claimed that due to the constant bullying from Lucy and her cohorts, he has depressive episodes, doesn’t trust others, cannot form intimate relationships, and has a general malaise about life.

The case lasted two and a half weeks due to the amount of witnesses called, and all of them were there on the side of the defendant. They claimed that Charlie Brown had it coming with his indecisiveness, and a lack of leadership skills throughout the show and in life. Even Snoopy and Woodstock were on her side.

The only person that was on Charlie Brown’s side was Linus, his true best friend. Unfortunately, the courtroom does not allow blankets onto the stand, so Linus could not show up to stick up for his friend, because he lacked the courage.

In the end, Lucy won the case and had a great party in celebration, and made sure to not invite you-know-who. We reached out to Charles Schultz, but his only response was, “Hey, I just draw them!”

Charlie Brown still appears on the show, but his heart is not in it, and the cast is visibly divided on and off the page. The cartoon will end in 7 months and, afterwards, Charlie Brown will look forward to retirement where he can finally be alone.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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