Whenever I open up my account on The Spoof, I'm met by the familiar message above.
Most contributors to the site probably don't even notice it, but it's there, all the same, albeit personalized to each different writer, providing a great big, friendly welcome to a familiar place.
And, even after I hadn't visited The Spoof for so long, the ever faithful welcome was waiting for me, as soon as I'd stepped through the front door, and wiped my feet on the mat.
I could see that there were 23 Discussion Forum threads I hadn't yet read, and one message to look at.
I could see that I'd written 240 stories, but no snippets, jokes, or celebrity diary entries.
If I'd scrolled down to the foot of the page, I'd have been able to see all manner of statistics with a bar chart and a pie graph, to show how many gullible internet searchers had been duped into clicking on my material, little suspecting it was nothing more than a selection of figments of my imagination.
To many writers, this page probably doesn't mean very much. It's their 'starting point' as they rush headlong into writing something new, but it's a great place! From there, I can watch the Live Updates, and, on occasion, see people reading my stories as it happens!
Sometimes, they have names!
Sometimes, they rate my stories!
But sometimes, they rate my stories with a miserable 1-star rating. When I see that, I want to kill them.
Fortunately, this doesn't happen very often. Most readers realise they've made an error, and move on, most likely cursing me for having misled them.
As President Trump said: "Losers!"