Pay To Play Into College And The White House

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 21 March 2019

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"Pay to play."

Stop picking on Hollywood mothers with big smiles for trying to buy their kid into elite colleges. Indeed, it's painful enough for the mother to admit their kid is hopelessly slow.

Why didn't they hire tutors to bridge the gap during high school? If the Hollywood mother who paid $500,000 to get her kid into USC, instead paid tutorial fees of $500,000 throughout the kid’s high school years, that kid could have shot straight into Oxford.

Pay-to-play is no big deal. There are no real bargains. One pays the higher price for a better product. Like spending a higher rate for toothpaste that guarantees brighter, whiter teeth and smile. Unlike those of actor John Sturges in the film London Fields. His teeth should have been censored. Maybe placing a little round blurry dot in front of his teeth every time Mr. Sturges opened his mouth.

But money is the key to opening doors. Is that why the media is lauding Beto O’Rourke for raising $7 million on his first day after announcing his candidacy for the White House? With that sum of money, like the Hollywood mothers pay-to-play money, O'Rourke's hopefully planning to make it, not into USC, but the White House.

So where’s the beef? O’Rourke has a friendly smile, good teeth, uses that super white expensive toothpaste. But with those teeth, O’Rourke should have taken Ted Cruz's Senate seat, with both hands tied behind his back. O’Rourke failed, even though no one has ever seen Ted Cruz's teeth.

As a consolation prize, (for the Cruz loss) O’Rourke decided to run for the White House. Similar to being rejected by USC, now O'Rourke's aiming for Oxford. Donors readily contributed $7 million for his pay-to-play war chest. He’s tall, slender, talks a good talk, but where does he stand on the issues? Did he say he had to brain up on the problems? Need a tutor maybe?

The Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Pete Buttigieg announced his run for the White House. He has already been to Oxford and already has the answers.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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