College Student Forgets Aikido Training While Being Chased By Doppelganger

Written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 16 March 2019

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Grant County, Wisconsin. UW-Platteville student, Craig Smith, 20, completely forgot his Aikido training while being chased by a doppelganger last Saturday.

Feeling stressed out with his Sociology and Pre-Algebra courses, Craig left his dorm room and took a silent walk through the campus in order to clear his mind. When the apparition glared at him from within the darkness of the University's centrally-located graveyard, Craig simply ran away as the demonic entity chased him.

Completely abandoning the sweeps, locks, and holds that he had learned in all three of the Aikido classes he absent-mindedly attended in February, Mr. Smith let intimidation get to him as the multi-changing specter began floating through mid-air.

Exhausted, breathing heavy, and out of strength, Craig eventually fell to the ground while failing to remember that he was supposed to keep balance and flexibility in order to use the enemy's movements to his own advantage.

Trembling and shaking uncontrollably with fear, Mr. Smith wept endlessly and prayed as the wraith continually appeared in every corner of his vision while growling with unearthly, animalistic intensity.

When the deadly, shape-changing, ghostly behemoth from Hell realized that Craig was actually going to get a Bachelor's Degree in Social Studies and then become a public school teacher, however, it suddenly felt sorry for him and decided to terrorize a student who would actually have a more successful and pleasing career.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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