Written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 21 March 2015

image for New York Babies Start Yakking at Birth
"Get me out of this bag. I'm a NY baby."

A seven-week old baby who said HELLO has become a worldwide sensation, but New Yorkers are unimpressed. That's because it's always been rumored that New York babies, when no one is around, start yakking shortly after leaving the womb.

An intrepid reporter from TheSpoof.com decided to test the truth of the rumor by setting up a hidden video cam in a nursery for newborns at a NY hospital. It turns out that new New Yorkers have a lot more to say than HELLO.

A tiny blonde baby in the back row of the nursery channeled Joan Rivers, asking, "Can we talk?" A jovial male baby in front of her proclaimed, "It's Miller time," while a female baby in the front row announced, "Hillary for President!" The little boy (a Rodney Dangerfield fan) in the crib next to her griped, "I get no respect."

The tape concludes with a rousing rendition by the babies of "New York, New York," the well-known Kander and Ebb tune that's become an anthem of the city. This seemed to be the favorite verse of the babies:

I want to wake up in a city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap

According to the reporter from TheSpoof.com, these babies know the score. Tom Wolfe was right when he said, "One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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