Written by Gail Farrelly

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

image for Cartoon Characters Squawk at NYC Press Conference
All they want is a little respect!

Travelers in NYC's Grand Central Station were stopped dead in their tracks yesterday when they witnessed an amazing press conference starring an irate group of cartoon characters complaining about their names.

Here's "the skinny" about the event:

Bozo the Clown feels his name "may" lack dignity. (Uh, you think?) He yearns for a royal, classy name. Something like William, Harry, or Jay Z may just do the trick, he figures.

Popeye says "The Sailor Man" is a misnomer. He no longer sails, since it makes him seasick.

Donald Duck is tired of sharing his name with Donald Trump. He wants to move on to another "D" name. He announced that he wouldn't mind sharing a name with Denzel Washington.

The Wicked Witch of the West has two complaints. First, she feels that no one has the right to cast the first stone and call her "Wicked." Second, she doesn't like having a name that reveals her location.

Miss Piggy is ready for a new name. Ever the PR diva, she's running a contest for folks to "Name That Pig." Entry forms are available wherever items with her likeness are sold.

Dora the Explorer is tired of exploring. She just wants to stay put and be known as plain old "Dora."

Bugs Bunny is dropping the "Bugs." He shuddered as he said the word has a creepy, crawly connotation that is most unwelcome.
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Some of the cartoon characters stayed behind to sign autographs. Others were whisked away by handlers to their waiting limos.

The press conference was a rude awakening for some stunned commuters heading home to the suburbs, having imbibed too much in the city at office parties. They solemnly vowed never to let alcohol pass their lips again!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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