Who's The Dumbest Republican Contest - Top 10 Political Quotes

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Monday, 2 February 2015

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Who's The Dumbest Republican Contest - Top 10 Political Quotes
Rep Louie Gomert, R-TX

After readers voted on "Who's The Dumbest Democrat?" contest held by N.S. News & World Report and chose Joe Biden for saying "Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008," U.S. News is holding the "Who's The Dumbest Republican" contest. Readers are asked to base their votes on the following quotes:

"They're coming after your donuts!" - Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul after the FDA said it would phase out trans fats.

"We can't harness the power of the wind because windmills will slow it down and we sometimes need strong breezes."-Rep. Louie Gomert, TX.

"The Great Flood is an example of climate change. And that certainly wasn't because mankind overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy." - Texas Rep. Joe Barton

"The incidence of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low." - Arizona Rep. Trent Franks, explaining why abortion bans don't need rape exceptions.

[America has to import so many workers because] for the last 35 years we have aborted more than a million people who would have been in our workforce."-- Mike Huckabee

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave. ~ Gerald Ford (on Nixon and Watergate)

"He is purple - the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay pride symbol." ~ Jerry Falwell's warning to parents "Tinky Winky of Teletubbies, may be gay.

"We don't know what those other cycles were caused by in the past. Could be dinosaur flatulence, you know, or who knows?" -- Dana Rohrabacher (GOP Rep.)

"A lot of people like being in abusive relationships." - Harold Smith, GOP State Representative, New Hampshire, arguing for why the state should reduce assault charges from a misdemeanor to a violation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more