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Funny satire stories about rank stupidity

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Funny story: Entire programming team at MacroHard blow their legs clean off

Entire programming team at MacroHard blow their legs clean off

Hospitals of Washington State - Dr. Lee G. Bender of Washuck Hospital spoke to reporters after all hospitals in Washington were suddenly filled with programmers that had blown off their legs. “MacroHard called for emergency assistance about 11:00...

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Funny story: Shock! Museum of the Bible's Dead Sea Scrolls Fragments are "Forgeries"

Shock! Museum of the Bible's Dead Sea Scrolls Fragments are "Forgeries"

Washington's Museum of the Bible has announced that five of its most prized artefacts – valuable fragments in its collection of Dead Sea Scrolls – are forgeries and will no longer be displayed unlike other artefacts of dodgy origin. German researc...

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Funny story: Trump Is Putin's Lackey

Trump Is Putin's Lackey

Again, the medium Maude Smithie of Los Angeles claims to have channeled the voice of the 20th century cynic and satirist H.L. Menken. I present what he allegedly said because, at least to this reporter, it seems plausible. Says Menken: "In his...

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Funny story: Trump's election victory proves voters are getting dumber, say scientists

Trump's election victory proves voters are getting dumber, say scientists

Humanologists from the Dumas Institute, Paris, have analysed US election results going back nearly two hundred years and have reached some staggering conclusions. Voters are now less intelligent than ever before, and are making worse choices for thei...

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Funny story: Gas Prices To Skyrocket And Shortages Loom

Gas Prices To Skyrocket And Shortages Loom

A gasoline spill south of Birmingham, Alabama, last Friday led to the shutdown of an important pipeline that delivers fuel to much of the South and East. It is expected to cause shortages and prices will rise dramatically. A Colonial Pipeline Co. pi...

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Funny story: Satirical News Writers Struggle to Create Exaggerated Headlines Concerning Donald Trump

Satirical News Writers Struggle to Create Exaggerated Headlines Concerning Donald Trump

Hollywood, CA and Planet Zorbion- A group of satirical news writers have expressed utter frustration in coming up with hyperbole-filled headlines and stories concerning Donald Trump. A 20-year veteran of the field, Mark Wadink, complained, "Any t...

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Funny story: Who's The Dumbest Republican Contest - Top 10 Political Quotes

Who's The Dumbest Republican Contest - Top 10 Political Quotes

After readers voted on "Who's The Dumbest Democrat?" contest held by N.S. News & World Report and chose Joe Biden for saying "Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008," U.S. News is holding the "Who's The Dumbest Republican" contest. Readers are asked to base their votes on the following quotes: "They'r...

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Funny story: Operation Blockhead instituted as latest medical marvel

Operation Blockhead instituted as latest medical marvel

Thanks to the miracle of modern scientific medicine and the operating table, it is now possible to entirely reshape the contours of the human skull. The result is what is described medically as an operation to produce the calvarium clausus, or a s...

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Funny story: Ferguson Man Shocked To Find He Has No Milk

Ferguson Man Shocked To Find He Has No Milk

Ferguson man Randy Burrows is reeling in shock this morning after discovering that his mother had failed to purchase milk to accompany his usual breakfast of cornflakes. The 26 year old school janitor, who has yet to leave home, was visibly upset,...

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Funny story: Head Of Secret Service Doesn't Get Firing

Head Of Secret Service Doesn't Get Firing

President Obama today fired Julia Peterson, head of the beleaguered Secret Service. Her strange testimony yesterday before congressional lawmakers was, no doubt, one of the reasons. When Chairman Issa asked her to explain why a deranged man carry...

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Funny story: Despite Setting Off Store Alarm Man Allowed To Leave Store Unchallenged

Despite Setting Off Store Alarm Man Allowed To Leave Store Unchallenged

Despite setting off his local grocery store's store alarm Wednesday, Fort Lauderdale shopper Duncan Whitehead was allowed to exit the store unmolested by the store's security staff who merely glanced at the exiting man before returning to doing nothi...

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Funny story: Al Gore Was Right

Al Gore Was Right

Speaking of extremely frigid temperatures this winter and early spring, in certain parts of the U.S., Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) said, "It's cold. Al Gore told me this wouldn't Happen. Global warming obviously is a farce." Senator Cruz said this to...

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Funny story: Big Mess On Times Square!

Big Mess On Times Square!

Good Morning America has apologized and ABC says they will pay the bill after huge mistake this morning. The Great Flukey, a hypnotist, demonstrated over the air how he could talk people into thinking they were chickens. What everyone had forgo...

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Funny story: Scientists Discover "Dumb-Ass Gene" Responsible For US' Problems

Scientists Discover "Dumb-Ass Gene" Responsible For US' Problems

Americans are largely apathetic as their country slides into third world status. The infrastructure is ready to collapse, 1 in 5 kids struggle with hunger, 18 to 32 % are in poverty (it's definitional), 40% of the national budget goes for past, pres...

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Funny story: New Chief At Dep't of Homeland Security Thinks It's A Piece Of Cake

New Chief At Dep't of Homeland Security Thinks It's A Piece Of Cake

The Department of Homeland Security has a new chief, Jeh Johnson. He takes over a department that includes 22 former agencies folded into it. The tasks of Homeland Security involve preventing terrorism through surveillance, disaster relief through...

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Funny story: American Media Already Prepare Profile Of Next Mass Shooter

American Media Already Prepare Profile Of Next Mass Shooter

US news media outlets are already preparing draft descriptions of future mass murderers based on previous descriptions of all former mass killers. "I can't believe it, they were such a normal family" has already been earmarked as one potential lea...

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Funny story: Fossil raindrops prove modern science is a load of poop!

Fossil raindrops prove modern science is a load of poop!

Modern science has today been exposed as a momentous pile of steaming shite. According to Sanjoy Som from Nasa's Ames Research Center, raindrops which caused indentations and then waited thousands of years to fossilized, allow an insight into clim...

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