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Funny satire stories about abortion

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Funny story: If You Outlaw Abortions, You Have To Outlaw Guns

If You Outlaw Abortions, You Have To Outlaw Guns

If abortion kills a life and abortion is outlawed, it follows that guns which also kill lives should also be outlawed. Guns are made and sold specifically to kill lives. Since there is a sanctity for a life that requires a microscope to identify,…

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Funny story: Male Sperm To Be Policed By Supreme Court

Male Sperm To Be Policed By Supreme Court

Forget men and women being equal. The Supreme Court is going to judge whether women have the right to make decisions about their healthcare. What’s big daddy going to judge next, what kind of tampon a woman can use? When a woman can leave the hou…

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Funny story: Why Do Old White Men Get To Decide?

Why Do Old White Men Get To Decide?

A woman held a cardboard sign reading:WHY DO OLD WHITE MEN GET TO DECIDE? DECIDE what? The woman was protesting women's health rights in front of the US Supreme Court, questioning why men decide. The white men were the white male members o…

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Funny story: Texas Governor Abbott Is The Wizard Of Pregnancy

Texas Governor Abbott Is The Wizard Of Pregnancy

What if a 12-year-old girl, who hasn't started her menstrual cycle, is raped by a relative or neighbor? How could she know if she were pregnant before 5 weeks, Governor Abbott? What if there isn't a doctor in the area or a Planned Parenthood? Supp…

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Funny story: Texas Governor Abolishes Rape

Texas Governor Abolishes Rape

Austin, TX Wood Blister reporting. Gov. Greg Abbott, as he signed the most restrictive anti-abortion law in the country, explained why the law did not provide for abortion after six weeks in cases of rape or incest. "We are abolishing rape and in…

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Funny story: Bishops Rebuke Catholic Politicians (Biden) Who Support Abortion Rights

Bishops Rebuke Catholic Politicians (Biden) Who Support Abortion Rights

How many bishops have been pregnant, anyway? One? Two? Yes? No? None? Okay. How many are going on pregnancy number five, and you aren’t Ethel Kennedy with a bankroll for nannies? No? None? Okay. Then the kid grows up and they're rejected f…

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Funny story: Amy Coney Barrett ate at abortion cafe

Amy Coney Barrett ate at abortion cafe

There was shock today when it was revealed that nominee to the US Supreme Court Amy Coney Barrett once ate a foetus in an establishment known as an "abortion cafe". Liu Chan Restaurant is in the Chinatown district of Notre Dame in Indiana, and whe…

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Funny story: Embroids to solve world’s problems

Embroids to solve world’s problems

Hellsinky - Corporations are lining up to purchase cheap embroids, according to Consumer Died magazine. Joe Sixpack is even ordering them. An embroid is a stem cell tricked into becoming a zombie phantom embryo; a teeny tiny little baby. This...

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Funny story: Alabama Rot Spreads To Governor’s Mansion

Alabama Rot Spreads To Governor’s Mansion

Montgomery, Alabama - (Reuterus): The discovery of a parasitic disorder similar to Mad Cow Disease in Kay Ivey’s sumptuous gubernatorial mansion has been identified as Alabama Rot according to a report in Doghouse News. Also known as sub-cute-anus...

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Funny story: Mary Had an Abortion Before Jesus, Biblical Archeologists Claim

Mary Had an Abortion Before Jesus, Biblical Archeologists Claim

Wheaton, IL—Biblical archeologists from Wheaton College have discovered, among a pile of scrolls in a ruin in Nazareth, a letter from the Virgin Mary to her cousin Elizabeth explaining why she had to abort her first child. In the scroll, the Virgin...

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Funny story: And.... PULL! ; New Republican Alternatives to Abortion

And.... PULL! ; New Republican Alternatives to Abortion

In lieu of abortion, United States Republicans have approved a new usage for fetuses that die while still in the womb. Under new guidelines, once the woman is executed for her miscarriage, she will be ground up in a mulcher and spread on the White H...

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Funny story: Alabama Legalizes Rape

Alabama Legalizes Rape

In a landmark ruling that is sure to have a knock-on effect all across the country, and possibly the world, the state of Alabama legislature today passed a new law that makes it now completely legal to have sex with a woman, even if it is against her…

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Funny story: AL Neocons Dismayed to Realize Types of Babies Likely to Be Born as Result of Restrictive New Anti-Abortion Law

AL Neocons Dismayed to Realize Types of Babies Likely to Be Born as Result of Restrictive New Anti-Abortion Law

In the wake of Alabama's passing of the most restrictive anti-abortion laws in the nation, essentially outlawing abortion at every stage of pregnancy, even in instances of incest and rape, neoconservatives were dismayed when it occurred to them that...

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Funny story: Georgia introduces anti-wanking law

Georgia introduces anti-wanking law

Conservative politicians in Georgia in the United States are pushing their religious agenda into law, like a priest stuffing a turkey with literally the word of God. The latest regulations from Atlanta say that men must declare every time they produc...

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Funny story: Georgia Will Close All Northbound Interstates After Passing Stringent Anti-Abortion Bill

Georgia Will Close All Northbound Interstates After Passing Stringent Anti-Abortion Bill

Atlanta - After signing into law a tough new anti-abortion bill which would outlaw the termination of pregnancies if a fetal heartbeat can be detected, which can occur as early as six weeks and before many women realize they are pregnant, Governor Br...

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Funny story: Three Killed In Care Bear Melee

Three Killed In Care Bear Melee

What started as a quiet day for employees of Midway Credit Union quickly turned to chaos when Pro Life and Pro Choice protesters clashed. The melee, which lasted for approximately 20 minutes and accounted for $3,000 in damage, was allegedly started b...

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Funny story: President Trump Unleashes Nuclear Strikes on Planned Parenthood

President Trump Unleashes Nuclear Strikes on Planned Parenthood

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a devastating and unbelievable development, President Donald Trump has struck every abortion clinic and Planned Parenthood center in the United States with nuclear weapons. "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Trump...

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