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Funny satire stories about abortion

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Funny story: Alabama Rot Spreads To Governor’s Mansion

Alabama Rot Spreads To Governor’s Mansion

Montgomery, Alabama - (Reuterus): The discovery of a parasitic disorder similar to Mad Cow Disease in Kay Ivey’s sumptuous gubernatorial mansion has been identified as Alabama Rot according to a report in Doghouse News. Also known as sub-cute-anus...

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Funny story: Mary Had an Abortion Before Jesus, Biblical Archeologists Claim

Mary Had an Abortion Before Jesus, Biblical Archeologists Claim

Wheaton, IL—Biblical archeologists from Wheaton College have discovered, among a pile of scrolls in a ruin in Nazareth, a letter from the Virgin Mary to her cousin Elizabeth explaining why she had to abort her first child. In the scroll, the Virgin...

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Funny story: And.... PULL! ; New Republican Alternatives to Abortion

And.... PULL! ; New Republican Alternatives to Abortion

In lieu of abortion, United States Republicans have approved a new usage for fetuses that die while still in the womb. Under new guidelines, once the woman is executed for her miscarriage, she will be ground up in a mulcher and spread on the White H...

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Funny story: Alabama Legalizes Rape

Alabama Legalizes Rape

In a landmark ruling that is sure to have a knock-on effect all across the country, and possibly the world, the state of Alabama legislature today passed a new law that makes it now completely legal to have sex with a woman, even if it is against her...

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Funny story: AL Neocons Dismayed to Realize Types of Babies Likely to Be Born as Result of Restrictive New Anti-Abortion Law

AL Neocons Dismayed to Realize Types of Babies Likely to Be Born as Result of Restrictive New Anti-Abortion Law

In the wake of Alabama's passing of the most restrictive anti-abortion laws in the nation, essentially outlawing abortion at every stage of pregnancy, even in instances of incest and rape, neoconservatives were dismayed when it occurred to them that...

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Funny story: Georgia introduces anti-wanking law

Georgia introduces anti-wanking law

Conservative politicians in Georgia in the United States are pushing their religious agenda into law, like a priest stuffing a turkey with literally the word of God. The latest regulations from Atlanta say that men must declare every time they produc...

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Funny story: Georgia Will Close All Northbound Interstates After Passing Stringent Anti-Abortion Bill

Georgia Will Close All Northbound Interstates After Passing Stringent Anti-Abortion Bill

Atlanta - After signing into law a tough new anti-abortion bill which would outlaw the termination of pregnancies if a fetal heartbeat can be detected, which can occur as early as six weeks and before many women realize they are pregnant, Governor Br...

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Funny story: Three Killed In Care Bear Melee

Three Killed In Care Bear Melee

What started as a quiet day for employees of Midway Credit Union quickly turned to chaos when Pro Life and Pro Choice protesters clashed. The melee, which lasted for approximately 20 minutes and accounted for $3,000 in damage, was allegedly started b...

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Funny story: President Trump Unleashes Nuclear Strikes on Planned Parenthood

President Trump Unleashes Nuclear Strikes on Planned Parenthood

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a devastating and unbelievable development, President Donald Trump has struck every abortion clinic and Planned Parenthood center in the United States with nuclear weapons. "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Trump...

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Funny story: Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness: “Those Pro-Lifers Are Out of Their Damned Minds”

Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness: “Those Pro-Lifers Are Out of Their Damned Minds”

NEW SHEOTH, THE SHIVERING ISLES – Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness, invited news reporters from MSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, Comedy Central, TBS, HBO, The Onion, and The Spoof to attend a press conference in New Sheoth, Sheogorath's home in the Shivering Isles. According to Tamriel lore, Sheogorath has spent countless millennia interfering with the lives of mortals, with acts ranging from mak...

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Funny story: Leprechaun abortion parties to end in Ireland

Leprechaun abortion parties to end in Ireland

For many years, remote villages in Ireland have held a dark secret. It is illegal for a human doctor to perform an abortion, but there is no law against leprechauns carrying out the dangerous operation. Two or three times a year in each village, hidd...

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Funny story: Trump calls for foetuses to be armed to prevent abortions

Trump calls for foetuses to be armed to prevent abortions

President Donald Trump has made another policy announcement without consulting his advisors. It is an idea which tries to solve two key issues that Republicans are passionate about - guns and abortions. The US President said that a gun company in...

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Funny story: "An Immodest Proposal: Leak of Sensitive Document"

"An Immodest Proposal: Leak of Sensitive Document"

An unidentified source working for a junior congressperson in the Capitol building has provided this reporter with an addendum to the American Healthcare Act. The full text is given below: H.R. xxxxxx-An Addendum to the American Healthcare Act...

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Funny story: Jesus and the No-So-Immaculate Conception

Jesus and the No-So-Immaculate Conception

Since coming out of retirement earlier this year to manage the End Times, Jesus has branded himself as a regular fixture on the club-and-bar scene, drawing attention with his wild drinking and his late-night romps with females and some males who simp...

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Funny story: Hillary leads Trump in dead fetuses and dead people

Hillary leads Trump in dead fetuses and dead people

New York, NY - The Clinton News Network (CNN) announced today that the election is over, called for Hillary. According to CNN television reporting, early voting by late term aborted fetuses and deceased adults, all of whom died just after voting...

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Funny story: The South Rises Again? South Carolina Votes to Leave European Union

The South Rises Again? South Carolina Votes to Leave European Union

Following a hotly contested statewide referendum, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley sent shock waves through international economies when she announced that South Carolina citizens, by a margin of over eighty-six percent, had voted to secede from t...

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Funny story: Who's The Dumbest Republican Contest - Top 10 Political Quotes

Who's The Dumbest Republican Contest - Top 10 Political Quotes

After readers voted on "Who's The Dumbest Democrat?" contest held by N.S. News & World Report and chose Joe Biden for saying "Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008," U.S. News is holding the "Who's The Dumbest Republican" contest. Readers are asked to base their votes on the following quotes: "They'r...

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