Gay-friendly women

Funny story written by Gee Pee

Monday, 5 August 2013


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Who's sexier? Sophia Loren or Heidi Klum? Jane Mansfield or Gisele Bundchen? Marilyn Monroe or Adriana Lima?

The idea of what makes a woman sexy has changed since the 1950's. Whereas having large, round breasts, wide hips, and an ample derriere was once considered the epitome of feminine beauty, by contemporary standards these attributes would cause a woman to be labeled "fat" and "unattractive."

Women, by and large, haven't changed. What's different is the idea of feminine beauty. The major determinant of what is and is not regarded as sexy in women is high fashion, the costumes of which are designed not by women, but by men, and not just men, but, for the most part, gay men. As a result, the embodiment of female beauty is the face and figure of the pre-pubescent boy. In short, gay fashion designers have created gay friendly women-women who look like boys.

Although she may wear makeup and her hair may be long and curly, today's top fashion model has a boyish face in which these features generally stand out:

  • Disproportionately forceful cheekbones situated high on the face
  • Square chin
  • Angular jaw line
  • Thin, less protruding lips
  • Bony ridge over the eyes
  • Protruding nose and forehead

Today's top fashion models also tend to have more boyish than womanly figures, which result from:

  • Broad shoulders
  • Naturally small to flat breasts
  • Flat buttocks
  • Height more often associated with males than females
  • Greater waist-to-hip ratios
  • Narrow hips
  • Thin, almost skeletal frames

Although fashion designers often claim that their creations drape better on models with such physiques, their statement indicates that they are not designing costumes for women of natural or average proportions such as those of the girl next door, and they are certainly not designing garments for the likes of Sophia Loren, Jane Mansfield, or Marilyn Monroe.

Instead, they are designing outfits for 12-year-old boys disguised, as it were, as women. They are creating clothing for the woman of their dreams, the imaginary, gay friendly woman. It is these make-believe women whom fashion designers find beauty, sexy, and somehow feminine.

Most men, it seems, also come to regard skeletal, broad-shouldered, flat-chested, narrow-waisted, long-legged women with flat buttocks to be beauty, sexy, and somehow feminine as well.

Fashion designers are degrading naturally beautiful women while, at the same time, propagandizing reputedly straight men to accept their standard of gay friendly women as not only beautiful and sexy but as the very personifications of the Perfect Woman. On the old scale, used to measure women's pulchritude, Bo Derek might have rated a 10, but the top fashion models on today's runways would rate a zero.

Straight men may have bought gay men's idea of the Perfect Woman's being basically the female equivalent of a 12-year-old boy for the same reason that they tend to reject the image that was popular during the late fourteenth and early fifteenth centuries as depicted in the paintings of Peter Paul Rubens.

The Rubenesque woman is not only a big beautiful woman (BBW), but she is also positively corpulent. Men of Rubens' day appreciated fat women with large, full breasts, big bellies, thunderous thighs, and fat buttocks because such women represented feminine fertility. Children and families were considered important, even essential, to life, and pregnant women were all but worshiped.

In art, pregnancy or the capability of becoming pregnant, an exclusively feminine talent, was celebrated symbolically in the roly-poly Rubenesque woman.

Today, when sex is more a means of entertainment and pleasure than it is procreative, the heavyset woman of ample breasts, buttocks, and belly has become all but extinct, its last bastion being the sexual fetish on the part of a small minority of men for big beautiful women. It is better, the vast majority of today's men believe, to go out with gay friendly women, who look like boys, than to risk impregnating a real woman.

It is possible that in the near future the women who strut their stuff on the high fashion runways will be transsexuals who, despite hormonal therapy, breast augmentation procedures, and feminizing facial reconstruction still resemble pre-pubescent boys, having many of the boyish attributes identified previously as well as unusually large hands and feet, pronounced Adam's apples, and, in the case of the pre-operative transsexual, male genitals. Once transsexuals become the new Victoria's Secrets angels, gay friendly woman will have reached her ultimate expression.

The ranking of the ten sexiest high-fashion models (a. k. a. gay friendly women) as of October 2012 was:

  1. Heidi Klum
  2. Gisele Bundchen
  3. Adriana Lima
  4. Tyra Banks
  5. Karolina Kurkova
  6. Alessandra Ambrosio
  7. Isabeli Fortana
  8. Yamila Diaz-Rahi
  9. Ana Beatriz Barros
  10. Natalia Vodianova

Fear not, though, if you are a 12-year-old boy, your chances of becoming tomorrow's sexiest gay friendly woman, with or without sex-reassignment surgery, are excellent.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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