Some Hard-Hitting Election Comments From Noted Politicians

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Here are some statements, comments, quotes, observations, and remarks that some noted politicians and non-politicians have recently stated regarding the recent presidential election.

• Mitt Romney - "Well it sure looks like I wasted millions and millions of my own damn money for nothing, absolutely nothing."

• Newt Gingrich - "My goodness, the Democrats came out of the friggin woodwork and Romney got stomped flatter than a piece of sandpaper."

• Paul Ryan - "Hey don't blame me. I'm not the one that wanted to get rid of Big Bird and the Muppet's."

• Rick Perry - "Well I just won me a $10,000 bet that the old Flip-Flopper would get his multi-millionaire caboose kicked back to Boston."

• Ron Paul - "Willard Mitt Romney lost simply because he scares old people and little kids with that Frankenstein look of his."

• Sarah Palin - "Ya know, gosh darnit, I called up Old Mittens back in September and told him that if he did not show his income tax returns from 2007 to 2010, that he would have about as much chance of winning the election as Kirstie Alley has of getting into LeAnn Rimes' swimsuit."

• Vice-President Joe Biden - "The reason Mitt the Twit lost by a landslide is because the American people don't like a man who uses more hair spray than his wife."

• Rush Limbaugh - "Dammit! I hate losers. It kinda makes me want to become a Democrat."

• President Obama - "I told y'all dat I was gonna hip hop all over that sarcastic, arrogant, filthy rich outsourcer."

• Ann Romney - "I don't care if my Mitty did get his rich butt kicked all over the presidential election map, I still think that he is one of the richest Republicans that I know."

• Chris Christie - "I heard from Ricky Santorum that Romney had told him that he did not like seeing 'Chubby' Christie fraternizing with President Obama. Well guess what Mr. Mitt 'The Loser' Romney? Chubby Wubby here has a job and you don't - so you can kiss my gigantic, double-wide New Jersey rumpola."

• Michelle Bachmann - "Obama won and Romney lost. And all I can say is hardy har har. That'll teach the old self-centered Flip Flopper to make fun of my humongous, Dolly Parton hairdo."

• Donald Trump - "That's it. I want to see Mitt Romney's and Paul Ryan's birth certificates as soon as possible."

• Bill O'Reilly - "Well at least Mitt can now go back to being a Mormon again."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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