Ten Signs You Might Be a Moderate

Funny story written by UWGB-Beek

Monday, 1 November 2010

The polarization of the United States keeps getting more attention. But do moderates still exist in this world of 24/7 media that preach the extremes of everyday politics?

Ten Signs You Might Be a Moderate

1. You respect the right to own a shotgun for hunting purposes, but not the right to own handguns and rifles. You might be a moderate.

2. You think politicians of any career length don't get it. You might be a moderate.

3. You believe teaching science isn't the end of the world. You might be a moderate.

4. You enjoy civil and logical debate. You might be a moderate.

5. You understand tax breaks without real spending cuts don't make sense. You might be a moderate.

6. You think insurance companies don't have your best interest at heart. You might be a moderate.

7. You believe spending money to brag about how you are going to fix a problem you created is a waste of money. You might be a moderate.

8. You don't care who your neighbor marries. You might be a moderate.

9. You want to help those in need. You might be a moderate.

10. You watch "The Daily Show" to get your political news. You might be a moderate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more