LOS ANGELES, California - Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi told CNN's Larry King that she is seriously thinking about bringing impeachment proceedings against Sarah Palin.
Larry asked her on what grounds and Pelosi said on the grounds that the woman spent $150,000 of the Republican National Committee's money on campaign clothes. Larry asked her how that concerned her when she's a Democrat. And Pelosi got a little huffy and answered, "Mr. King, it is the principle of the thing. How can one woman spend that much money on clothes.
I mean Larry you see this blouse that I'm wearing?...$8 at Wal-Mart. And this skirt? $11 at Target. My sandals? $14 at PayLess. My panties? $2 at The Dollar Tree." Larry asked, "And how much was your bra?" Pelsoi answered, "I'm not wearing one, but that sure is one tremendously personal question don't you think Mr. King?"
"So what's your point?" King asked, "What's my point? My point Mr.King is that she is already showing us that she is going to be one big spending 'hockey mama,' don't you see the trend Larry. I mean my goodness if it was a rattlesnake, it would have already bit you on your CNN ass. And Larry please excuse my language I never cuss, unless I'm drunk or angry, and I don't drink very often except for three or four glasses of Sangria on occasion." "Nancy Pelosi, you have made your point." Larry noted.
Larry added, "Now Nancy in all fairness to Gov. Palin, do you have any proof that she spent the money you said she did?" "Yes I do Larry. I just happen to have in my possession three of the original receipts from three of the stores."
"Nancy how the hell did you obtain those receipts?" "That Mr. King is none of your bee's wax." "Bee's wax, wow, I haven't heard that expression in decades." "So Larry as you can see the first receipt is from Neiman Marcus and it's for $75,062, the second one is from Sak's Fifth Avenue and it's for $41,850, and the last one is from Bloomingdales and it's for $5,102."
Larry smiles and asks, "Why such a little amount from Bloomingdales?" Pelosi grins and answers, "That's only because Bristol, her 17-year-old pregnant unmarried daughter, and let me repeat that Larry...her 17-year-old pregnant unmarried daughter was feeling ill and Sarah was afraid that she would throw up all over the Gucci purses so they left early."
Larry starts laughing, "It's not funny Larry." And Larry shakes his head and says "No, you're right Nancy, well good luck with your impeachment proceedings." "Thank you Larry, and if I could I would like to say hi to my next door neighbor Val Sal Sagowitz who today is celebrating her 103rd birthday." "Sorry Nancy we don't have time to do that - just kiddin' Nancy baby, just kiddin' go ahead and say high to the old gal." "Okay thanks, hi there old gal, I mean Val and happy birthday and I hope that the swimsuit fits, if not I'll return it to Radio Shack tomorrow afternoon."
"Okay Nancy well thanks for being on my show." "Oh you're welcome Larry and you are really much handsomer in person." "Thank you, so are you - and now I'll pitch it over to my pal Anderson Cooper. Anderson what's cookin'?"
Well thank you Larry, and tonight I'll be conducting an exclusive interview with a recently fired aide of Sarah Palin's who it seems stole three receipts from the governor's purse and then reportedly turned around and sold them to Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi for $17,000."
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