Written by Armedus Chunsky

Saturday, 25 October 2008

image for Sarah Palin Will Become President of Alaska
"Country first," says John McCain, while defending his secesionist running mate.

Fairbanks, AK- Presidential polls indicate that Senator Barack Obama will cruise to victory over Senator John McCain this November. John McCain, though, saw that this was coming and took immediate action. He wrote into a recent Senate bill that gave huge farm subsidies to the corn lobby that if John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin receive more than fifty percent of the vote in Alaska, that Alaska will become its own independent nation and Sarah Palin will run it. The Senators should really read the fine print.

Governor Sarah Palin has a lot of support in her home state, even though her husband is a member of the Alaskan Independent Party, a party that has the support of only three percent on Alaska. Their goal is the secede from the union and make Alaska its own independent nation.

Sarah Palin commented on the recent development. "If Alaska becomes its own country, those pesky journalists won't quiz me on Supreme Court decisions, or about what a vice president does, because I will be the president of real America, which will, ironically, no longer be a part of America."

Sarah Palin attended two Alaskan Independent Party conventions, at which they recite the Alaskan state anthem rather than the Pledge of Elegance.

"These are my kind of people, like Joe Vogler. Joe The Secessionist, as you may know him, said that he did not want to be buried under the goddamned U.S. flag. So we dumped his body in international waters. The point is not that he was eaten by sharks, but that he was not buried in elitist towns like New York City or Washington D.C.."

John McCain said he always puts country first, but not the false parts of the country where he no longer visits.

Sarah Palin is expected to win in a landslide in the newly formed country of Alaska. As the motto of the Alaskan Independence Party goes, "Alaska First, Alaska Always".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sarah Palin, Alaska

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