Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Bans Bert and Ernie From Entering The State

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 15 August 2011

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A photo showing Arid Acres located just outside of Phoenix where Gov. Jan Brewer lives.

PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer has once again shown that she is going to run the state of Arizona with an iron fist, an iron mouth, and an iron groin.

The 66-year-old very weathered governor, known as Jan "The Man" because of her unfeminine characteristics and her male looking facial features, has made it clear that she will not allow the Muppet characters Bert and Ernie to enter her state.

When asked by a reporter for The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette why she had decided to make that decision she was only too glad to explain.

Brewer told Coquette Eucalyptus that she is basing her decision on the Internet rumor that Bert and Ernie have admitted to being gay and actually have been involved in a secret gay relationship for several years now.

Miss Eucalyptus told the governor that Bert and Ernie are not real people. She shook her head as she informed Gov. Brewer that the two are Muppet's and are kind of like puppets who are made out of a type of cotton material.

She went on to say that Bert and Ernie do not have a respiratory system, a circulatory system, or even a reproductive system. Eucalyptus even informed Brewer that neither Bert nor Ernie even have a penis or balls.

Brewer laughed and told the reporter that it did not matter and that just because Bert and Ernie do not have a penis or balls does not necessarily mean that they are not gay.

She then pointed out that she has personally heard of several individuals who live up in San Fransissyco who look a lot like Bert and Ernie except that they're much taller, heavier, and they speak with higher pitched voices.

Jan Brewer has decided to enter the GOP presidential race at the insistence of her BFF Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio of Maricopa County.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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