Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Says She's Throwing Her Sombrero (Hat) Into The GOP Presidential Ring

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

image for Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Says She's Throwing Her Sombrero (Hat) Into The GOP Presidential Ring
This is pretty much the extent of Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer's makeup collection.

PHOENIX - Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann may have another female candidate entering the presidential race.

Reports filtering out of Arizona are saying that the state's governor Jan Brewer has decided to run for the office of president.

Efforts to reach Governor Brewer proved futile as her office receptionist Natalia Milanesa Fernandez Hernandez de Queso stated that the governor will only talk to reporters who will not criticize her extreme ultra right wing stances.

De Queso explained that some of these issues include but are not limited to such matters as illegal irrigation, illegal crop rotation, and illegal diet pills such as Pounds Away, Loves Handles Be Gone, and the most illegal of all Fat Be Banished All To Hell.

GOPicky Magazine reporter Amos Soursuckle, who is one of the few main stream media members who Brewer will talk to, stated that Governor Brewer did want it known that she is in no way affiliated with Sarah "The Snow Job" Palin's Tea Bag Party.

When Soursuckle asked Brewski (as Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh call her) if she was affiliated with the Douche Bag Party Brewer got highly offended.

She replied that she is getting tired of people automatically thinking that just because she acts like a loose cannon more than half of the time does not mean that she is in any way, shape, or form affiliated with the Douche Bag Party.

Brewer remarked to Soursuckle that if there are any female candidates in the race who have all of the earmarks of being in The Douche Bag Party it would certainly be Sarah "The Snow Worm" Palin and Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann.

Governor Brewer says that she has asked Maricopa Country sheriff and extremely close friend, and alleged mattress frolicker Joe "Pinky" Arpaio to be her campaign manager and it appears that the somewhat sadistic sheriff will accept.

GOPicky Magazine, the leading Republican publication in America will stay on top of the story and bring you more developments as they develop.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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